Tuesday, September 4, 2012

End of Summer!

Summer is over!

Well, It has been really hard getting a blog post up here since summer came rolling around. But, school is starting tomorrow and I am back to blogging!

Summer seemed to fly by this year. It gets faster and faster as my children get older. I wish I could bottle up those cute little laughs and looks that the kids used to give me. I wish that they still wanted to come crawling up into my lap when they get a scraped knee or fall off of their bike. But it seems that they have moved on to bigger and better things.

So, now that I am back to my blogging I am going to be making some changes to my blog and hopefully have a few guest bloggers! So, check back soon and often. I can't wait to get started again!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Overbearing and Pushy... Is this what I am? :)

Here we are, almost summer vacation. It has been a wile since I have posted on my blog. This past month has been really busy for me. Between softball and baseball, my head has been spinning!

As my son's basball playoffs ended tonight I was thinking about his season. I was reflecting on the changes he has made and the changes I have made over the season. Mind you, I am not so sure my changes are for the better.

I have a friend that I would crack jokes to. Her son, about 14 months older than mine, would have to come in and rest before a game. He would not be allowed to be very active on game day. When try outs came she was frantic about him making the team. I always laughed as would give her crap about being "that parent".

Well, As I was sitting there at my son's playoff game last night, I realized that I have become "that parent"! I was feeling guilty last night in thinking that I, the person who used to want every child to get a hit on our team or not, was wanting my child to beat the pants off of every other kid! I wanted him to out play other kids whether they were on his team or not. I wanted him to rest on game day, practice in our backyard, and I was even giving him tips on hitting!

What the hell, I don't play ball. In fact those 8 and 9 year old would probably take me to the cleaners if I ever played with them. What had I become? That overbearing annoying mother? And the answer is (bum bum bum...) Yes, I did.

So, as I am sitting here conflicted with my feelings, I know I need to find a balance. I can still want other kids to do good. It is however, a TEAM sport! Team, meaning they all have to play good to win. My son does not need to outshine everyone else. He can play his best, and I am sure he will, without my 2 cents. 

My husband and I have a motto that we always have told our kids.  "If you have to tell everyone how great you are, then maybe you are not that great!" We tell them that there will always be someone better than them. So, they will need to always try hard and be their best. I think maybe I could tweak this saying for myself... "If I have to try to make my kid the best, maybe I am not being the best!" My son will play baseball and he will always have someone better than him. I cannot change that, nor do I want it to change. Competion is a part of life. That is what makes us strive within to be better, in baseball or in life.

In conclusion, because I know I will have friends reading this! I really did not wish ill will on any of the kids playing. I still wanted them to be great. I just needed to tone down how I was going about pushing my own child in my own head! Yes, I will always want him to be great, but it is important for him to be great and still have fun, no matter what age he is!


Monday, May 14, 2012

Time Magazine's Cover Story

I know I am a little behind in talking about this and I am sure this has been discussed with many of your friends and family. It took me a few days to gather my thoughts on this attachment parenting article.

The picture is shocking and that is eactly what Time Magazine wanted. That is the way we gather attention now a days. I think they learned it from the youngsters. The old saying "Any attention is good attention" seems to apply here. But, I am not totally disgusted by the picture or the article. My problem is with the title "Are You Mom Enough".

What is mom enough? What does it actually mean? Is it degrading moms that don't ad up to what society puts on us?

I am all for moms who want to do this attachment parenting. I am all for moms that want to chew up their kids foods and spit it into their mouths. I am all for moms who decide to co sleep with their children. Sound crazy for me to make this statement? Well the reason I say it is because it doesn't pertain to me. I really should say I could care less if they want to do it. It does not affect me, my children, or my family.

Parenting is making decisions day in and day out. Making those decisions is based on what is right for your family. When my kids were born I didn't see a manual pop out after the baby and before the placenta. I really wish there was such a thing, my life would be so much easier.

My decisions I make for my kids may or may not affect them later on in life. We all do not know unless we can become phsycic somehow. We canot predict the outcome of what will happen to a 5 year old that still nurses. Maybe he will thrive and maybe he will not. But it is just the same for me who switched to bottle feeding. How will we know that later on in life it will affect him in a positive or negative way? The asnswer is we don't.

I know that I am not any less of a mom for any of the decisions I have made for my children from birth to present. I do not beat my children. I have raised them to be repectful of others. I have taught them to learn and grow and thrive in their enviroment. The same as any other mother that makes the decisions she has to for her family.

So in conclusion, I don't care what your decision is or how you come about it. Raising kids is hard enough. Don't hold what society tells you that you should do over your own head. Remember you are Mom Enough!

Do you agree? Disagree with what I think?

Tell me what your thoughts arhis subject.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mother's Day Shout Out!

As I sit here tonight on the eve of mother's day, I am thinking of all the things I have learned from my mother. I learned everything from her. From cooking and cleaning to caring for children and taking care of a family. I was raised by a stay at home mom and I learned everything I know from my mom. When I was a young teenager I took my mom for granted, as I am sure most of us do. Never really thinking about how I would someday need and use all the things she has taught me. I look at my daughter and hope that I am teaching her the same way I learned. I remember all those times that I gave my mom a hard time and fought her on everything from how much candy i could eat to what my curfew was when I became a teen. I now know that it was not easy for her and it is the most difficult job, ever! I have since called several times and apologized to her. Life is coming back around and it is biting me right in the behind with my daughter. I think about all the silly litte cards I made for my mom over the years when my kids hand me what they have made. When my kids bring me my coffee in the morning, I will be thinking about all the attempts I made to make breakfast in bed for my mom. All in all I love being a mom. I love my kids more than anything. As my children are celebrating me tomorrow. I will be celebrating my mom because without her I would not be the woman I am today! I love you Mama, Happy Mother's Day!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

If you like The Mommy Market and want to stay up to date then be sure to join me on Facebook. You will recieve a notification on your Facebook page when The Mommy Market is updated!

Click on the Following link, Like The Mommy Market on Facebook, and Share with at least 1 friend (and notify me on the facebook page) You will be entered into a drawing for a $25 Barnes and Noble Gift Certificate! I will draw a name when I reach 100 likes with a share on Facebook.


Remember... If you like The Mommy Market be sure to pass along to your friends and family. There is always a mom out there that can use some advice at one time or another!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Food Advertising. Is it really healthy?

I was listening to the news the other day and they were reporting on a Class Action suit against the makers of Nutella. The suit was brought by two mothers in California that were claiming Nutella was false advertising the product. Their goal was to get the makers of Nutella to admit that their ad claims healthy, but it is really no more healthy than a candy bar.

In just two tablespoons of Nutella there are 200 calories, 21 grams of sugar and 11 grams of fat. This does not sound healthy to me. I heard one critic of the law suit say that this was frivolous and that one should be checking the ingredients before they buy a product.

I, myself, agree whole hearted with this lawsuit.  There have been many studies that show advertisers gear commercials for sugary cereals and snacks towards kids. They put them on at and on the appropriate channels that kids watch and advertise with messages that make a kid say MMMMM! I know just by looking at the shelf that a granola or whole grain cereal with a clearly plain looking non exciting box is more than likely healthier than the colorful one that scream "Made with Whole Grains" on the front of the box. Just because something is made with whole grains does not mean that it is not jacked up with sugar. I think most moms and dads have figured out the cereals. But, other products seem not so easy to figure out when you are in a time crunch. I see the product and it says healthy on the front. Right where the advertisers know I, with all the kids and rushing frantically, will see it. They know I will grab it and go. I know I rely on commercials myself. Sometimes when I hear something is healthy I go ahead and buy it. I know I do not have the time to sit in the grocery store, with at least 1 infant and sometimes my 2 other children, and read every single label to determine healthiness.

Now, I am not the queen of health and I do let me kids have Yodels or Ding Dongs but in moderation. My kids will have a soda but in moderation. So, when I think I am giving them something healthy and it is really jacked with sugar and empty calories is it really fair? I am thinking that with my moderation theory I know what sugar my kids are taking in and here they are getting way more than I even know by eating thing I think are healthy because of advertisements.

Here's the funny thing about Nutella in my house. I love it and my kids hate it! I was making two half sandwiches a day as a snack. Whole grain bread, 1 tablespoon peanut butter, and Nutella. I was thinking I was eating healthy and trying to drop a few pounds at the same time. Really, I was killing my suggested calorie intake with Nutella. It didn't matter if I ate veggies the rest of the day I was already getting most of my calories with the Nutella.

Unless everyone goes around suing all these companies for all of these products this advertising issue will not end. Since suing all these companies is not feasible, the advertising will continue.

My suggestion, and what I will be doing from now on,  is when you are making your shopping list and decide to buy something new research the product. I don't have time to do it in the grocery store but I do have some free time that I can look up a product or two by doing a Google search. I am not always buying everything new at the grocery store so looking up a couple of products won't be so time consuming. I won't have a child in the store saying "I want this" and "I want that"! This is the only way to ensure you are buying healthy. Be proactive on your own part.

Just a Tip:  Remember, the way the grocery store set up the shelves are to get you to focus on the middle or eye level shelves. These are where most of your sugary items are being sold from. Look up and down you tend to find more nutritious items on top and bottom shelving.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Daughter's Leaving the nest, How My Mom Coped!

My daughter is 10, she is not yet leaving the nest. But, someday she will. I decided to write about this subject now while it is still fresh in my memory of how it was to leave my nest.

I am one of three kids in my family. I am the oldest daughter with an older brother and a younger sister. We are all about 5 years apart. To tell you about how I ended up leaving the nest I will have to tell you how my family dynamics were growing up.

I lived in a very rural town in Western Pennsylvania. It was a quaint little town and everybody knew everybody. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked shift work at the power plant. We really hardly got to see my dad. My mom was the best mom. I was always happy to have her around and wanted her to be involved in all the activities that I was involved in. She was awesome. Anything and everything that we did she was there. Whether it was to just be in the background to support us or to be actively involved because we had volunteered her for something without her even knowing!

My mom had gotten very sick at one point in my teenage years with gallbladder issues and went to have routine surgery. She wound up almost losing her life. Now, we had always been really close. My dad always said that we had snaps on our hips because we were so close. Our closeness wasn't spoken about to each other. It was the way our relationship was. That doesn't mean that I never said or did anything that was hurtful or disobedient. I was however a teenager. Sorry Mom!  During the medical crisis that my mom dealing with, I was there for her. There I was at 16 sleeping on the floor next to the couch. Helping her up and down. Getting her food when she needed it. Changing drainage tubes when needed. This is what you do for someone that you love and I love my mom.

Fast forward about 2 years and my parents marriage had fallen apart. It was messy and sad. At 18, I realized that even though I was still feeling like a child, I was seeing the ins and outs of divorce like an adult. My mom decided to move out of state and my sister and I went with her. I could not leave my mother. She needed me now more than ever. Our adventures started out fun. A new life in a new place. I had to become an adult really fast. If we wanted a home of our own and a not just a place to crash we needed to work hard and fast. We did and we got a place. Both of our paychecks went to rent and bills. It was a struggle but that was what we had to do. After a while, I started to resent my mom a little bit. My paycheck was going towards rent and bills and gas in my car. In my head, I was being an adult way more than what my friends that I left behind probably were. They were going to college, parties, and bars. I was working and being responsible. I started making friends and  going out on the weekends but was still given a curfew. I found this unfair and thought that if I was expected to be an adult at 19 I should be able to make my own decisions and not have a curfew. After a while I made the decision to move out. I knew this was going to upset my mom. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her. I was worried for her about how she was going to make it but I just wanted to be able to make my own decisions for my own life. I had a friend that lived 4 hours away and I was going to crash there until I found my place. I had transferred my job and set everything up myself. My mom was hardly speaking to me when I had left. That was not how I wanted it to be at all. I was feeling sad and guilty because I was leaving her. It was like I was her companion and I was afraid to leave her because I knew she was going to be sad, lonely, and was afraid for her financially.

Everything worked out in the end and we speak every weekday on her lunch break.  We have talked about that time when I was leaving. She agreed that I was like a companion. She felt like she was losing control because she didn't have control of the situation. We both learned from that situation and, of course, my sister had it so much easier! We both made some mistakes I could have done things differently and she could have too. We don't get to hit rewind and play out that situation again. I realize what my mom must have been feeling and had I only sat down and talked to her and not kept my move so secretive. If I had just told her this is what I wanted to do and why. If I told her I was not asking permission but would love it if she could be involved and help me with this new adventure I was journeying out on. Maybe we would have avoided all that drama!

I know It is hard to let go. I know one day I will come back to this post to remind myself of what my daughter might be feeling and how I could do things differently.

This ones for my mama, love you!