As my son's basball playoffs ended tonight I was thinking about his season. I was reflecting on the changes he has made and the changes I have made over the season. Mind you, I am not so sure my changes are for the better.
I have a friend that I would crack jokes to. Her son, about 14 months older than mine, would have to come in and rest before a game. He would not be allowed to be very active on game day. When try outs came she was frantic about him making the team. I always laughed as would give her crap about being "that parent".
Well, As I was sitting there at my son's playoff game last night, I realized that I have become "that parent"! I was feeling guilty last night in thinking that I, the person who used to want every child to get a hit on our team or not, was wanting my child to beat the pants off of every other kid! I wanted him to out play other kids whether they were on his team or not. I wanted him to rest on game day, practice in our backyard, and I was even giving him tips on hitting!
What the hell, I don't play ball. In fact those 8 and 9 year old would probably take me to the cleaners if I ever played with them. What had I become? That overbearing annoying mother? And the answer is (bum bum bum...) Yes, I did.
So, as I am sitting here conflicted with my feelings, I know I need to find a balance. I can still want other kids to do good. It is however, a TEAM sport! Team, meaning they all have to play good to win. My son does not need to outshine everyone else. He can play his best, and I am sure he will, without my 2 cents.
My husband and I have a motto that we always have told our kids. "If you have to tell everyone how great you are, then maybe you are not that great!" We tell them that there will always be someone better than them. So, they will need to always try hard and be their best. I think maybe I could tweak this saying for myself... "If I have to try to make my kid the best, maybe I am not being the best!" My son will play baseball and he will always have someone better than him. I cannot change that, nor do I want it to change. Competion is a part of life. That is what makes us strive within to be better, in baseball or in life.
In conclusion, because I know I will have friends reading this! I really did not wish ill will on any of the kids playing. I still wanted them to be great. I just needed to tone down how I was going about pushing my own child in my own head! Yes, I will always want him to be great, but it is important for him to be great and still have fun, no matter what age he is!