End of Summer!

Summer is over!

Well, It has been really hard getting a blog post up here since summer came rolling around. But, school is starting tomorrow and I am back to blogging!

Summer seemed to fly by this year. It gets faster and faster as my children get older. I wish I could bottle up those cute little laughs and looks that the kids used to give me. I wish that they still wanted to come crawling up into my lap when they get a scraped knee or fall off of their bike. But it seems that they have moved on to bigger and better things.

So, now that I am back to my blogging I am going to be making some changes to my blog and hopefully have a few guest bloggers! So, check back soon and often. I can't wait to get started again!

Overbearing and Pushy... Is this what I am? :)

Here we are, almost summer vacation. It has been a wile since I have posted on my blog. This past month has been really busy for me. Between softball and baseball, my head has been spinning!

As my son's basball playoffs ended tonight I was thinking about his season. I was reflecting on the changes he has made and the changes I have made over the season. Mind you, I am not so sure my changes are for the better.

I have a friend that I would crack jokes to. Her son, about 14 months older than mine, would have to come in and rest before a game. He would not be allowed to be very active on game day. When try outs came she was frantic about him making the team. I always laughed as would give her crap about being "that parent".

Well, As I was sitting there at my son's playoff game last night, I realized that I have become "that parent"! I was feeling guilty last night in thinking that I, the person who used to want every child to get a hit on our team or not, was wanting my child to beat the pants off of every other kid! I wanted him to out play other kids whether they were on his team or not. I wanted him to rest on game day, practice in our backyard, and I was even giving him tips on hitting!

What the hell, I don't play ball. In fact those 8 and 9 year old would probably take me to the cleaners if I ever played with them. What had I become? That overbearing annoying mother? And the answer is (bum bum bum...) Yes, I did.

So, as I am sitting here conflicted with my feelings, I know I need to find a balance. I can still want other kids to do good. It is however, a TEAM sport! Team, meaning they all have to play good to win. My son does not need to outshine everyone else. He can play his best, and I am sure he will, without my 2 cents. 

My husband and I have a motto that we always have told our kids.  "If you have to tell everyone how great you are, then maybe you are not that great!" We tell them that there will always be someone better than them. So, they will need to always try hard and be their best. I think maybe I could tweak this saying for myself... "If I have to try to make my kid the best, maybe I am not being the best!" My son will play baseball and he will always have someone better than him. I cannot change that, nor do I want it to change. Competion is a part of life. That is what makes us strive within to be better, in baseball or in life.

In conclusion, because I know I will have friends reading this! I really did not wish ill will on any of the kids playing. I still wanted them to be great. I just needed to tone down how I was going about pushing my own child in my own head! Yes, I will always want him to be great, but it is important for him to be great and still have fun, no matter what age he is!

:)

Time Magazine's Cover Story

I know I am a little behind in talking about this and I am sure this has been discussed with many of your friends and family. It took me a few days to gather my thoughts on this attachment parenting article.

The picture is shocking and that is eactly what Time Magazine wanted. That is the way we gather attention now a days. I think they learned it from the youngsters. The old saying "Any attention is good attention" seems to apply here. But, I am not totally disgusted by the picture or the article. My problem is with the title "Are You Mom Enough".

What is mom enough? What does it actually mean? Is it degrading moms that don't ad up to what society puts on us?

I am all for moms who want to do this attachment parenting. I am all for moms that want to chew up their kids foods and spit it into their mouths. I am all for moms who decide to co sleep with their children. Sound crazy for me to make this statement? Well the reason I say it is because it doesn't pertain to me. I really should say I could care less if they want to do it. It does not affect me, my children, or my family.

Parenting is making decisions day in and day out. Making those decisions is based on what is right for your family. When my kids were born I didn't see a manual pop out after the baby and before the placenta. I really wish there was such a thing, my life would be so much easier.

My decisions I make for my kids may or may not affect them later on in life. We all do not know unless we can become phsycic somehow. We canot predict the outcome of what will happen to a 5 year old that still nurses. Maybe he will thrive and maybe he will not. But it is just the same for me who switched to bottle feeding. How will we know that later on in life it will affect him in a positive or negative way? The asnswer is we don't.

I know that I am not any less of a mom for any of the decisions I have made for my children from birth to present. I do not beat my children. I have raised them to be repectful of others. I have taught them to learn and grow and thrive in their enviroment. The same as any other mother that makes the decisions she has to for her family.

So in conclusion, I don't care what your decision is or how you come about it. Raising kids is hard enough. Don't hold what society tells you that you should do over your own head. Remember you are Mom Enough!

Do you agree? Disagree with what I think?

Tell me what your thoughts arhis subject.

Mother's Day Shout Out!

As I sit here tonight on the eve of mother's day, I am thinking of all the things I have learned from my mother. I learned everything from her. From cooking and cleaning to caring for children and taking care of a family. I was raised by a stay at home mom and I learned everything I know from my mom. When I was a young teenager I took my mom for granted, as I am sure most of us do. Never really thinking about how I would someday need and use all the things she has taught me. I look at my daughter and hope that I am teaching her the same way I learned. I remember all those times that I gave my mom a hard time and fought her on everything from how much candy i could eat to what my curfew was when I became a teen. I now know that it was not easy for her and it is the most difficult job, ever! I have since called several times and apologized to her. Life is coming back around and it is biting me right in the behind with my daughter. I think about all the silly litte cards I made for my mom over the years when my kids hand me what they have made. When my kids bring me my coffee in the morning, I will be thinking about all the attempts I made to make breakfast in bed for my mom. All in all I love being a mom. I love my kids more than anything. As my children are celebrating me tomorrow. I will be celebrating my mom because without her I would not be the woman I am today! I love you Mama, Happy Mother's Day!

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Food Advertising. Is it really healthy?

I was listening to the news the other day and they were reporting on a Class Action suit against the makers of Nutella. The suit was brought by two mothers in California that were claiming Nutella was false advertising the product. Their goal was to get the makers of Nutella to admit that their ad claims healthy, but it is really no more healthy than a candy bar.

In just two tablespoons of Nutella there are 200 calories, 21 grams of sugar and 11 grams of fat. This does not sound healthy to me. I heard one critic of the law suit say that this was frivolous and that one should be checking the ingredients before they buy a product.

I, myself, agree whole hearted with this lawsuit.  There have been many studies that show advertisers gear commercials for sugary cereals and snacks towards kids. They put them on at and on the appropriate channels that kids watch and advertise with messages that make a kid say MMMMM! I know just by looking at the shelf that a granola or whole grain cereal with a clearly plain looking non exciting box is more than likely healthier than the colorful one that scream "Made with Whole Grains" on the front of the box. Just because something is made with whole grains does not mean that it is not jacked up with sugar. I think most moms and dads have figured out the cereals. But, other products seem not so easy to figure out when you are in a time crunch. I see the product and it says healthy on the front. Right where the advertisers know I, with all the kids and rushing frantically, will see it. They know I will grab it and go. I know I rely on commercials myself. Sometimes when I hear something is healthy I go ahead and buy it. I know I do not have the time to sit in the grocery store, with at least 1 infant and sometimes my 2 other children, and read every single label to determine healthiness.

Now, I am not the queen of health and I do let me kids have Yodels or Ding Dongs but in moderation. My kids will have a soda but in moderation. So, when I think I am giving them something healthy and it is really jacked with sugar and empty calories is it really fair? I am thinking that with my moderation theory I know what sugar my kids are taking in and here they are getting way more than I even know by eating thing I think are healthy because of advertisements.

Here's the funny thing about Nutella in my house. I love it and my kids hate it! I was making two half sandwiches a day as a snack. Whole grain bread, 1 tablespoon peanut butter, and Nutella. I was thinking I was eating healthy and trying to drop a few pounds at the same time. Really, I was killing my suggested calorie intake with Nutella. It didn't matter if I ate veggies the rest of the day I was already getting most of my calories with the Nutella.

Unless everyone goes around suing all these companies for all of these products this advertising issue will not end. Since suing all these companies is not feasible, the advertising will continue.

My suggestion, and what I will be doing from now on,  is when you are making your shopping list and decide to buy something new research the product. I don't have time to do it in the grocery store but I do have some free time that I can look up a product or two by doing a Google search. I am not always buying everything new at the grocery store so looking up a couple of products won't be so time consuming. I won't have a child in the store saying "I want this" and "I want that"! This is the only way to ensure you are buying healthy. Be proactive on your own part.

Just a Tip:  Remember, the way the grocery store set up the shelves are to get you to focus on the middle or eye level shelves. These are where most of your sugary items are being sold from. Look up and down you tend to find more nutritious items on top and bottom shelving.

Daughter's Leaving the nest, How My Mom Coped!

My daughter is 10, she is not yet leaving the nest. But, someday she will. I decided to write about this subject now while it is still fresh in my memory of how it was to leave my nest.

I am one of three kids in my family. I am the oldest daughter with an older brother and a younger sister. We are all about 5 years apart. To tell you about how I ended up leaving the nest I will have to tell you how my family dynamics were growing up.

I lived in a very rural town in Western Pennsylvania. It was a quaint little town and everybody knew everybody. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked shift work at the power plant. We really hardly got to see my dad. My mom was the best mom. I was always happy to have her around and wanted her to be involved in all the activities that I was involved in. She was awesome. Anything and everything that we did she was there. Whether it was to just be in the background to support us or to be actively involved because we had volunteered her for something without her even knowing!

My mom had gotten very sick at one point in my teenage years with gallbladder issues and went to have routine surgery. She wound up almost losing her life. Now, we had always been really close. My dad always said that we had snaps on our hips because we were so close. Our closeness wasn't spoken about to each other. It was the way our relationship was. That doesn't mean that I never said or did anything that was hurtful or disobedient. I was however a teenager. Sorry Mom!  During the medical crisis that my mom dealing with, I was there for her. There I was at 16 sleeping on the floor next to the couch. Helping her up and down. Getting her food when she needed it. Changing drainage tubes when needed. This is what you do for someone that you love and I love my mom.

Fast forward about 2 years and my parents marriage had fallen apart. It was messy and sad. At 18, I realized that even though I was still feeling like a child, I was seeing the ins and outs of divorce like an adult. My mom decided to move out of state and my sister and I went with her. I could not leave my mother. She needed me now more than ever. Our adventures started out fun. A new life in a new place. I had to become an adult really fast. If we wanted a home of our own and a not just a place to crash we needed to work hard and fast. We did and we got a place. Both of our paychecks went to rent and bills. It was a struggle but that was what we had to do. After a while, I started to resent my mom a little bit. My paycheck was going towards rent and bills and gas in my car. In my head, I was being an adult way more than what my friends that I left behind probably were. They were going to college, parties, and bars. I was working and being responsible. I started making friends and  going out on the weekends but was still given a curfew. I found this unfair and thought that if I was expected to be an adult at 19 I should be able to make my own decisions and not have a curfew. After a while I made the decision to move out. I knew this was going to upset my mom. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her. I was worried for her about how she was going to make it but I just wanted to be able to make my own decisions for my own life. I had a friend that lived 4 hours away and I was going to crash there until I found my place. I had transferred my job and set everything up myself. My mom was hardly speaking to me when I had left. That was not how I wanted it to be at all. I was feeling sad and guilty because I was leaving her. It was like I was her companion and I was afraid to leave her because I knew she was going to be sad, lonely, and was afraid for her financially.

Everything worked out in the end and we speak every weekday on her lunch break.  We have talked about that time when I was leaving. She agreed that I was like a companion. She felt like she was losing control because she didn't have control of the situation. We both learned from that situation and, of course, my sister had it so much easier! We both made some mistakes I could have done things differently and she could have too. We don't get to hit rewind and play out that situation again. I realize what my mom must have been feeling and had I only sat down and talked to her and not kept my move so secretive. If I had just told her this is what I wanted to do and why. If I told her I was not asking permission but would love it if she could be involved and help me with this new adventure I was journeying out on. Maybe we would have avoided all that drama!

I know It is hard to let go. I know one day I will come back to this post to remind myself of what my daughter might be feeling and how I could do things differently.

This ones for my mama, love you!

The Birth Plan!

Many of my friends and family are becoming first time moms soon. I thought this would be a great time to talk about birth plans.

What is a birth plan? Well, it is a written or thought out agenda for how your birthing experience is going to play out at the hospital.  Most include what kind of pain management if any, who you want in the room, what kind of tools you will want to use (ex. birthing ball, warm tub, shower), who you want to catch the baby,  if you want your other half to cut the cord, and if you want to nurse right away just to name a few! Some think that having a birthing plan is just an extensive written paper with everything listed for your labor and delivery, but it is not. A birthing plan can be written out in your head where no one even knows about it. That was what i took to the hospital with my first!

 Let me tell you how my mental birth plan went! My agenda went out the window before I even reached the car to get to the hospital! No joke, nothing went as I had planned and all I could think about in all those hours in the hospital is how this birth was not going the way I had planned at all! My water broke at home. I was expelling clots that were the size of grapefruits (my husband took them to the hospital to show the doctor). When we called the doctor to see what we should do, my husband and mother-in-law were both talking at the same time with panic in their voices. The nurse requested to talk to me and they were still going in the background! "Tell them this and do they know that!" It was scary and crazy and it was already out of control.

The birthing process is unreliable and very unpredictable. You cannot plan this process. I realized, by the time that I got to my third delivery, that the more I let go of being in control the more I actually enjoyed the birthing process. I was more in control when I was not trying to be in control. I was able to decide what was going to happen in the moment instead of already having a plan and being disappointed if something wasn't going right. I decided when the time came if I wanted an epidural. I decided if I wanted a catheter or not. I was able to be relaxed, which helps your body to be able to dilate easier and faster. I was able to talk to my nurse as I went through labor. When I would ask her a question I was able to be relaxed, understand, and make a rational decision in regards to what was going to take place. I was more focused and alert which made me be able to read my own body.

In my opinion the more control you try to take or expect in labor, the more out of control the birthing process will be. Let nature take it's course and decide when the time comes to make those decisions. I can almost guarantee you will have a better experience!
_________________________________________________
Packing for the Hospital for Labor and Delivery, 10 things A laboring mom will need

I learned to pack 2 bags. One for labor and delivery and one for the rest of my hospital stay. I would have my husband bring the second one to the hospital after I was transferred to my maternity stay room.

1. Magazines, You may have some time on your hands before active labor and after your get meds!
2. Phone Charger, You don't want to end up with a dead battery when you want it most
3. Camera and Batteries, To take pictures to share
4. Food, They now will let a laboring mom eat food to keep up the energy. Bring light snacks for you to eat.
5. Robe, If you have to walk to halls you will want something to cover your cheeks besides a johnny!
6. Chapstick, Your lips will get dry.
7. Deodorant, I put it on a lot because I was sweating a lot!
8. Hard Candy, In case you get a dry mouth.
9. Something to focus on, I actually used the little light on the TV when I was having contractions!
10. Slippers or Slipper Socks, For when you have to get to and from bed!

Happy Laboring Ladies!

Oragnized Meal Planning!

Our Favorite Meal Clip Board!

This was something I found on Pinterest and it was done with a restaurant menu. Well, since I know I don't have many menus laying around my house I improvised!

When I starting using this I thought it was only going to be used to help me to know what my family would want for dinners that week. What I did not realize is how much it helped me plan my shopping trip and save money at the same time.

When I would go to the grocery store before, I would wander aimlessly up and down each isle. With a scattered brain trying to think of what we would have for 7 dinners, lunches for my school aged kids, what the baby was going to need, what kind of cereal my husband would want, and all of this while my stomach is growling! Not a great combination. So, I would just randomly grab things out of the isle. I guess this is how the grocery stores make their money!

Once I made and started using this clip board, It helped me right out of the gate. My kids were excited to be picking out what we would have for the week and it was always going to be something my family liked. So, on Wednesday when the circulars came in the mail, I would take a peak and see what was going to be on sale, I would go through the envelope marked "Our Favorite Meals" and I would pull out 7 meals. I let my kids clip them onto the clip boards with the clothes pins for when they wanted to eat those meals. Now, I am able to make a grocery list almost without even looking in the circulars page by page. I know exactly what I will need for my Friday shopping day!

These is how I made my clip board. It is not fancy at all but it works!

Materials...

1 clipboard

7 clothes pins

1 envelope

2- 8.5"X11" poster board

glue

Sharpie

Glue 7 Clothes pins onto 1 sheet of poster board. glue the fold of the envelope to the bottom backside of the poster board. Write with the Sharpie each day of the week over the clothes pins and write on the envelope "Our Favorite Meals". Now, Cut the other piece of poster board in half vertically. Cut again into strips. Write on these pieces what your families favorite meals are and place them in the envelope. Once everything is dry clip it to your clip board and hang on a wall in your kitchen!

The Skinny

Over the weekend I tracked my way to the softball fields so my daughter could go to her first practice of the season. I was sitting their enjoying the weather when I struck up a conversation with another parent. She started talking about how her daughter asked her if her thighs looked fat in a pair of leggings. These are 10 year olds mind you and this one in particular is a tall drink of water, athletic, and really beautiful inside and out. She went on to tell her daughter that she looked great and that her thighs did not look anywhere near fat in the leggings.

There is influences no matter where you look. It is not just the supermodels in the magazines (airbrushed obviously!) that children are getting this "perfect image" idea from. Even the government is pushing the obesity dilemma now. So, our kids get it from every angle. It is sad to say, but they are getting it at a younger and younger age now a days. When my daughter was in first grade and at school she would leave for school with a packed lunch and come home with the packed lunch. She would be starving by the time she got home and after about a month of asking what was going on I had enough. I was finally able to pry it out of her. One little girl at school was commenting on another little girls lunch just about every day. She was talking about how much food was in the girls lunch and how she was going to gain weight and be fat. So, my daughter took a mental note of that and decided to not eat to possibly spare herself ridicule over what she eats and what she weighs! I ended up at the principals office and ultimately took my child out of school everyday for lunch. I brought her home to eat and back to school for recess. This went on until our move a month later to a new school district. Our move was already planned before this incident so it was just good timing!


It made me stop and think about what I say and do in front of my kids, my daughter really. I had a baby in October and have been complaining about the weight that I am not shedding as fast as I would like. I found myself wanting to skip meals and then feel so miserably hungry that I would over indulge in the wrong foods. All while my kids are watching. So, the pressure of weight and eating can come from us as parents too. It may be unintentional but it can happen. It can come from what was happening in my house to something as simple as a parent telling a kid how skinny they are. It can be just talking about weight in general or talking to a child about how they eat to much.

I started thinking about what I can do to make it so that I can minimize the pressures of weight with my daughter. I am 33 and just now understanding the idea of healthy eating. It is all about moderation when it comes to food. Now because I do need to lose weight and don't want it to effect the way my daughter thinks, I have decided to make my life healthier and to help my kids understand what that means.  I want to be around to watch them grow up, go to college, get married, and have children of their own. I am not on a diet, I am just eating a healthy. It is no more or no less than that. I tell myself and only myself that the weight will come off in time with the healthy eating.  I do not say things that have to do with my weight in front of my daughter anymore. She will have enough pressure from her peers to deal with without my own issues of weight.

Children make metal notes of the things and actions that we take. It does not have to be a spoken word for something to be destructive to them! Remember to chose your actions wisely when it comes to this sensitive issue.

Stay at home or Work.. My thought on Ann Romney

Just an FYI this post is not intended to be a political one. This being posted is not to share my political views or to ask anyone else to do so. It is coming from a mother who cares!

I was listening to the news this morning and was very irritated by what I was hearing. Hilary Rosen, a democratic strategist, was saying that Ann Romney was unqualified to speak about the economic issues that women face today.  Rosen was on Anderson Cooper 360 and was slamming Ann Romney stating that "She never worked a day in her life." She also said "She's never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of women in this country are facing in terms of how do we feed our kids? How do we send them to school? And why we worry about their future."

Romney responded back with a Tweet  “I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work.”

So my post today is about being a stay at home mom and being a working mom. I have been fortunate enough to have been able to stay at home. That does not mean that there has not been times where my family could have benefited from me going to work. But, it was very important to me for me to stay at home with my children and raise them the way I wanted to and my husbands jobs for the most part allowed me to do so. That being said, it is not always that way for other families. Be it a single mother or a married mother some, no most, families today have to have a second income to make ends meet. That does not mean that their feeling towards raising their kids are any different from mine. They love their kids just the same as I love mine.

We all come from different economic backgrounds but being a mom, stay at home or working, is hard work. I certainly feel that it is the hardest job I have ever faced. My 40 hour work week went up to a 24 hours 7 day a week job and my responsibilities sky rocketed. I worry just as much about money for my family as I am sure my working mommy friends do. I worry about the stability of my husband job in these crazy times, I also worry about how to put food on the table in a cost effective way, and I worry about how I am going to pay for gas to get my kids to and from their daily activities.

I think it is sad that because Ann Romney comes from wealth that she would be ridiculed by someone, be it a Democrat or Republican. She is a mother and made a choice to stay at home and be the best mother she could to her 5 sons. Money or no money she is a mother. I don't think that wealth makes her out of touch with what a mother needs and wants. Yes, she may have had it easier financially, but she is on the campaign trail with Mitt socializing with women to find out what our concerns are as women and mothers from all economic backgrounds.  I know my concerns may be different from my neighbors, the mother that lives in the inner city, and the mother that lives in the richest neighborhood in my town.

Yes, Ann Romney comes from money and she has not toughed it out as most American mother do but, at least she is making it a point to connect with us.  It seems that the only way to run for president is to come from money and she should not be slammed for that. I would like to see Hilary Rosen hitting the trails to have one on one sit downs with the mothers of America.

If you have not seen what Hilary Rosen has said, check out the link to Anderson Cooper 360.

http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2012/04/11/the-candidates-war-for-women/

Mommy Daddy Comparison (From a childs perspective)

Over this past weekend our family had something happen that was really kinda funny and got me to thinking, "Does Daddy really know what he is doing when it comes to taking care of the kids?"

I will start this story out by letting you in on what happened at our house. I had absolutely no time to go Easter shopping over the past week so I, of course, was out shopping at 7:30pm the night before Easter. They whole day was nothing but busy and at 7:15pm my husband was taking my sons friend home so I could leave to get all my stuff done. Now I was feeling stressed. I had to get groceries and the items I needed to make desserts for my mother in laws house the next day. I had to get Easter candy and toys for the baskets. I also needed to find a basket and baby toys for our new little one. Can anyone say MIGRAINE! I was running like mad trying to make it to the Dollar Store to stock up on all my kids favorite candy. Still no basket for the poor baby. I ran into the grocery store picked up a few grocery items and said forget the rest, I will come back on Monday.  I ran up the unbelievably overpriced toy isle and grabbed some baby toys and a few wiffle balls for my sons. Ran over to CVS where I found the As Seen On TV Slushy Maker and grabbed that for my daughter. Still no basket for the baby. Ran next door to TJ Max to see if they had baskets and of course, no basket, unless I wanted one that would hold the newspaper on the steps. Don't think I didn't contemplate it either! But I ended up with a monkey backpack that fit everything right inside. I will find a basket for next year.

But here is where the real story begins. I come home with the few grocery bags in my hand and was met at the door by my daughter. She had a very concerned look in her eye that I could see through the glass in the door. When I opened the door she said "Mommy, didn't you get my message?" I looked at my phone and said "No, my phone never rang. Why whats the matter?" As she was starting to speak, my husbands head pops around the corner and he states, "Can you please tell your daughter that I am a good father and I know what I am doing!"

Well come to find out, the baby started crying as soon as I left my house. Anyone that knows him will tell you that he is a great baby and never cries, but right now he is getting his top two teeth and that really doesn't feel so good. So, he can cry all he wants the poor guy.

Back to the story! Our daughter proceeds to tell me that he cried the whole time I was gone and Daddy only just got him to sleep. Now, Daddy's story goes like this. "You left the house and he started crying! Not the whimper cry but the he's in pain cry. I tried everything! Standing, sitting, rocking, walking, going outside, putting him in his bouncy and nothing worked until I just put him down in our bed and he finally went to sleep."

Well, this is what I would normally do if he was worked up but our daughter kept telling her father that he didn't know what he was doing! She told him "Ty never cries like that when Mommy is here!" and "I think I should just call mommy and let her know what is going on!" and "Are you sure you know what you are doing, Daddy?" He said she was relentless!

I have never laughed so hard on the inside than I did that night! Does he really not know what he is doing? Of course he knows what to do. Parents parent differently. He has his way and I have mine. We both know how to settle the baby down but it might not be the same way. Our daughter usually sees me with the baby and what I do because I am fortunate enough to be able to stay at home. I had to explain to her that Daddy does know what he is doing and that sometimes we need to give daddy some slack and let him figure out what to do with the baby because he doesn't get to spend as much time with him as we do. I then told her "I don't know how you made it 10 years with him as your father!" We all got a good laugh out of it and it will be a story told to the baby for years to come!

Allowance and Chores

Okay, I have found that Chores are not something my children want to do! I am sure it is not something your children want to do either! Really, who wants to do chores? I know there are days I don't want to do them! So, I had to come up with an incentive.

I went online searching for ways  to entice my kids to do their chores. When I came across this great website called Allowance Manager https://allowancemanager.com/ . When I first started looking at this websites home page I thought to myself it looks to simple to be anything worth taking a look at. Well, I ended up looking and was really impressed with this simple little page. So I signed up and started exploring.

What I found was a great way to get your kids to do chores for their allowance. Allowance Manager has free chore sheet printouts that you can hang on the fridge and let your kids be responsible for the chores they need to do. The kids have to be responsible for not only doing them but marking them done on their chart.  The site gives you great tips on how to keep your kids motivated with doing their chores. It tells you to set up an allowance that you will give to your child on a specific day of the week if their chores were completed.

My kids, being 9 and 10, are given the following chores. They will keep their rooms clean, set and clear the table at dinner each on opposite nights. They will do their homework without whining or complaining. They will keep all their belongings picked up in the main part of the house. Lastly, any sporting equipment will be put away when practice or a game is over. On Fridays, if all of their chores on their chore sheet are marked as done then they will get $5 to put in their piggy bank.

Now this is what I really love about Allowance Manager! When I give them their money, they get to enter it into the website on their personalized bank record. So, they get to keep track of their earning and spending. It teaches them responsibility with money.  I am not saying it works miracles! My son's money burns a hole in his pocket like nothing else. But, he gets to see where all of his money goes and he loves to try to spend it down to the last penny!  My daughter is a saver and loves to watch her money grow. She loves to think about what she would like to buy and then says "Well if I save a little more I can buy something bigger and better!" My son will probably be living at home until he has to put me in a home and at that he will probably ship me off to my daughter because he will be broke, HAHAHA! And my daughter, from being such a saver, will be driving a Mercedes for her first car!

All kidding aside this is a fabulous way for them to not only do their chores but to learn what saving is. I recommend this website to everyone!

Solid As A Rock

As a Mom, we wear many hats. We are everything to our husband and our kids. They count on us for everything and I count on my ability to almost be able to keep it together in every situation that they need me. But am I really a rock that keeps my family together?

This wasn't a job that I got a description for in the paper. I never circled it and got excited about what my salary was going to be. I never had an interview and was told what my responsibilities were going to be. When I watched movies or TV dramas motherhood looked so simple. The mothers managed to be put together and beautiful and their houses were spotless. They were able to come and go as they pleased. They were able to be at every sporting event in their children's lives. Even my mom's job seemed simple when I was young. What was it that she did? We were playing in the back yard and as far as I knew she made us breakfast lunch and dinner, right? Well the answer is wrong!

I don't think, as a mom, we let anyone no what our job entails. It is like a secret society and when we see another mother we know that they are in the same boat no matter how their situation differs from ours. As I said above, I have no job description or list of responsibilities. I had no formal job training before I had my kids so I wing it everyday. Everyday can bring a new challenge to make us question our strength!

With the kind of year my family has had, I am finding that I do have that strength of a rock. That does not mean that I do not have weak moments and that I don't have a few tears trickling down my face before I go to sleep at night. But, for the most part I keep my composure. Why do I keep it? Well, if I don't my family will for sure fall apart.

This all started 10 years ago when I had my daughter. I was in my early 20's. I was not married yet and was scared as hell of what was happening to me. I was miles and miles from my family, I am talking plane ride miles! But yet managed to get through it. Three months after my daughter was born I found myself yet again pregnant with my son and still no ring on my finger. People thought I was crazy, and well I have to say I probably was but this was the hand that I was dealt and I was going to do the best I could with what I had. This alone was making me a stronger mother and I didn't even realize it. After 9 years since my last child we welcomed a new son into our family. Again, bringing new challenges into our family.

So for the last 10 years I have been raising my kids, and yes I did get the ring and the marriage 7 years ago! But we have had our fair share of ups and downs. A lot of them were down but we always managed to dig our way back out and see the light. I find that when we are having those dreaded down swings I am at my strongest. My problems cannot be my children's problems. They are kids and deserve to be kids. They shouldn't be worried about finances, houses, and parents problems. They should not be worried about anything other than doing good in school and playing with their friends.

I have a new found respect for my mom. I realize everyday that she was not just making my meals everyday! That everyday, added to the list of jobs she already had, there was at least 1 new job title added to the list. My list seems so grow and grow. Everyday I am a doctor or a nurse, a teacher or librarian, a therapist and a playmate. This is my small list. There are so many more I could add. But, if you are a mom you know all the work I do and I know all the work you do!

Stay Solid Moms!

Summertime Outdoor Fun!

Now that Spring is in the air, my kids are looking for activities to do outside. I was looking on Pinterest and found an idea that was for adults and decided to change it a little and make it into something for the kiddos!

Get a wooden picnic table. Old or unfinished works just as well as a new one. Just be sure that it is safe and sturdy. Buy two plastic window boxes. The ones that hold flowers. Remove one to two planks in the middle of the table and replace them with the window boxes! This becomes an instant art studio for the outside. Keep finger paints, paint brushes, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, and whatever you can think of! You can also make this into a sand and water activity table and switch it back and forth. You can cover your table with a tarp and some bungee straps to keep it from being ruined by the weather!

This idea came from something I saw on Pinterest. It was a table where they removed the planks in the middle replaced it with a rain gutter and filled it with ice and served drinks in it for an outdoor party. My project could also be utilized in this way, but I think it would get more use doing it for the kids!

What not a better way to get them outside and using their imaginations!

Gardening with kids!

Now that spring is here it is time to start thinking about gardening.  A garden can seem like an overwhelming task, I know from experience! But over the last couple of years I have figured out a way to make it a little easier.

My parents had a huge garden in our back yard when I was growing up. They would grow asparagus, peppers, tomatoes, corn, and cantaloupes just to name a few. My Dad would be tilling the garden in the early spring to loosen to dirt. He would go to my aunts farm to get manure to fertilize the garden. It was a lot of work. Now, I do not have that kind of will to do a garden! I love the idea of fresh veggies but don't have that kind of time to put into a large garden. So, I have come up with an inexpensive and fun way to garden with kids.

When kids are hands on with the process they tend to try the veggies and fruits that they grow. It is a great way to get them to try new things and it teaches them responsibility.

To keep it inexpensive and from having to dig up your yard, buy a plastic kiddie pool. They run about $10 and you can find them at lots of stores. Drill holes in the bottom of the pool. This will allow for adequate drainage. Buy a nice rich quality soil and fill the pool. Find some cinder blocks or a wooden pallet for the pool to sit on. Place your pool in a sunny area and remember once it is filled it will be hard to move. One thing I would splurge on is the plants. If you are going to grow them from a seed, use starter pots inside to let the plant get a good start.

Since this garden is meant for the kids take them to help pick out the plants. Plant practical things that you and your family will use. I like tomatoes, green beans, cucumbers, peppers. By picking 4 kinds of plants it will allow you to section the pool off into 4 and you won't have overcrowding. My family loves Cantaloupe and Watermelon, but this garden won't support these fruits. These are 2 fruits that will take over a garden. If you choose to plant these pick a small area and mound up the soil. My parents had a trick they used for these fruits. They would mound up the dirt and place a tire on the top. Then they would plant the fruit inside of the tire. It keeps them from taking over a large area!

Have your kids water the garden every morning, evening, or both. The hot summer sun can be harsh and will dry out the soil easily. Be sure to cover your garden with a sheet at the first sign of a frost.

Now simply watch as your garden produces some yummy fruits and veggies. Your kids will be excited to see what all their hard work has done!

Pinterest Tutorial

Spring Cleanig Week!

Spring has sprung and the overwhelming urge to clean is striking houses everywhere! But, it is such an overwhelming task. I always feel motivated to clean for a couple of hours and when all of my stuff is being pulled out I feel the overwhelming urge to sit down and quit cleaning! So, each day I am going to give out tips for spring cleaning.

I was watching Rachael Ray this morning and there was a man named Peter Walsh as a guest. They said he was a professional organizer. Really, there are people who like to clean? I mean I like a clean house but I am guilty of that overstuffed closet that no one is allowed to open cause everything will come falling out! My house by all counts looks picked up when I have company, but if Peter Walsh was to inspect my house, I would be screwed. There would be no pulling the wool over his eyes!

I listened intently on what he had to say. I learned from 1 tip that he said that I could spring clean and unclutter my house in 10 minutes a day for 1 week. "Impossible" I said! But no, it is possible and it is so simple. So, here it goes...

Take 2 trash bags and set a timer for 10 minutes. Walk around your house and fill 1 bag with items you do not use anymore and fill 1 bag with items that are trash. He said if 2 people do this by the end of the week you will have 14 bags of trash and 14 bags to donate to Good Will.

That sound so easy! So, this is going to be my project this week. But since I am in control of most of the cleaning, and my husband doesn't throw anything away, I will be doing it myself so I will have 7 bags of trash and 7 bags to donate. This will still be a huge dent in my spring cleaning and I should not feel overwhelmed by this huge task!

Happy Cleaning!

*New Cleaning Tip for Tuesday. If you are cleaning your lamp shades use a dryer sheet.It collects the dust easier than using a regular cloth and it will leave the room smelling fresh!

*New Cleaning Tip for Wednesday. Rug Scrubbing! If you don't want to hire someone to come in and scrub your rugs, Try renting a rug scrubbing machine. You can rent them from many grocery and hardware stores. It will leave a nice clean scent in your home and will make your home feel like it is sparking clean!

* Cleaning Tip for Thursday. Go Green cleaning your windows! Mix 1 cup distilled white vinegar with 3 cups of warm water. Use crumpled up black and white newspaper and dip it into your mix. Ring the newspaper until it stops dripping. Wash your windows and dry with a dry crumpled up newspaper.

If your windows seems to be greasy or there is tough grime build up, use 2 tablespoons of rubbing alcohol or lemon juice (no pulp) and that will cut through the tough messes!

Recycle your old to bring in the new!

Thanks to a great website that I have been using for years, www.freecycle.org  I have been able to recycle some of my old items out to bring in some new. I try to give my house a good spring cleaning and I find so many odds and ends items and toys that my kids don't want or need anymore. This website allows me to post the things I have available and it is only for the locals to see. If someone sees something they want they will email you and make arrangement for a pick up.

I have felt really good knowing that pretty much all of my older kids baby things went to someone who really needed them. A young single girl in college came and picked up most of my gently used girl things. My sons stuff was split up to a few different people.

I have also found many items for myself. I have gotten a set of bunk beds, side tables for a kids bedroom, and some baking pans. Some of the thing I have gotten I have transformed with a little elbow grease and some paint. 

With the economy that we are in right now everyone is in the position to be frugal. So, the next time you are cleaning out something in you basement, attic, or just looking to clean out some cupboards remember to check out Freecycle. You never know who might be in need of that something you have. The old saying goes "Someones trash is someone treasure!"

Happy St. Patrick's Day

This is such a fun time to celebrate with your kids and your family. Even though this is now the traditional holiday with Presents and gift giving it is one of my favorites. My kids have so much fun getting their green on and I look forward to cooking my St. Patrick's Day feast. I enjoy the company and watching my kids come up with their creative ways of catching a leprechaun! We go into town annually for the St. Patty's Day parade in Southie. The kids have a blast, and even amongst all the chaos I have a ton of fun too!

I hope you all have a fantastic St. Patrick's Day.  Have fun and be safe!

Melanie~

Pink Slime

Pink Slime is something that I just recently heard about on television. I wanted to take a look to see what it actually is and how the USDA and meat processors use it and think it is safe.

I was reading up on this and this is what I have found. Pink Slime is actually a filler and processed in the following way.

According to the Washington Post, the process involves taking USDA-approved beef trimmings, separating the fat and meat with centrifuges, then squeezing the lean beef through a tube the size of a pencil, during which time it is exposed to ammonia gas. The combination of the gas with water in the meat results in a reaction that increases the pH, lowering acidity and killing any pathogens such as E. coli.

This filler is processed at a company and then shipped out to the places that process our meat. It is then added to our ground beef.

The Pink Slime process is actually using Ammonia to kill off E. Coli? Ammonia, a chemical that is commonly found under our kitchen sink to be used a cleaning agent? Isn't Ammonia labeled with a big giant skull and cross bones? Isn't there a warning that states not for consumption and if you get it in your eyes or swallow it to call poison control right away? So, why is this chemical or poison in our food?

 I thought E. Coli could be eliminated if the food is cooked and/or stored properly? Am I wrong, or is there more to it?

I read a statistic that 70% of our grocery stores supply us with the USDA approved product. I was unaware of this. Unless you are buying ground beef that is USDA Organic, you are running a high risk of feeding your family the Pink Slime. I also read that many of our schools are using ground beef product with Pink Slime. So, even if you as a family decide to use organic to eliminate that risk, your children may still be getting it at school.

They say that it is safe, but it is not a necessity to be listed on a label of ingredients. Are you serious? Shouldn't that be our decision to make? Shouldn't we be able to decide?

I grew up in farm country in Western Pennsylvania. My family was fortunate enough to have a cow and pig every year. We knew what was going into that animal for feed and medicine. It had land to roam on and lots of grass to graze in.  We never had to worry about what was in our meat.  Unfortunately we all do not have that opportunity.

My thoughts are that if this process of the Pink Slime is going to continue, the stores need to label these so we know what we are buying. Then, if we choose to buy it we know what we are ingesting. I think that the restaurants that have not already taken this meat out of their menu, need to immediately. Lastly, our schools need to get this Pink Slime out ASAP! We should have a say in what they consume at school and I know I am guilty of not really looking past the school lunch menu and into what they are really eating.

**Just a tip to keep pink slime out of your house. I have started buying a boneless pot roast and having the butcher at my grocery store ground it up for me. The taste is fabulous, it can be much cheaper, and I find that if I get a large roast I can freeze it and it still tastes fresh when comes out of the freezer!

Will I ever get to sleep? New Baby Woes

Lately there has been a lot of new babies being born amongst my friends and family. Five months ago I even welcomed our new little one, but the difference being this is my third child. I was laughing the other night, as I was typing on facebook to a relative who has a three week old, over a conversation about lack of sleep.

So, I started to think back to my first two children.  The lack of sleep that left you feeling like a zombie. Those sleepless nights when they are teething. Waking when they are infants every 3 to 4 hours, if you were lucky, to feed them. Little colds that would keep them congested and you from getting any sleep. Really, and all those who give the advice of "sleep when the baby sleeps"? Yeah right! When they sleep there is laundry to be done, and dinner to be made, and floor to be vacuumed! If you did not get those things done on a daily basis, you were screwed because it is almost impossible to catch up. I remember sitting up at night for about 6 months when my daughter was teething. She would go to bed at 9 and be back up at 10 and just be up and down all night. I can tell you every single line from Elmo in Grouchland. That was the only movies we watched as we cuddled on the couch. She would stop crying and just lay there, on my pregnant belly, with her rosy red cheeks and a runny nose. She was done crying, but then I would start! Everyone had advice on what to do. "Let her cry it out!", "Rock her in a rocking chair!", "Medicate her!"  I would sit and just say "God, please if you are listening, I will do anything just please let me be able to sleep a good nights sleep!"

The truth is I tried each of those thing and it never worked. We had to find out what worked for us. What works for one baby may not work for another. I found that the more stressed and tense I was, the worse my baby would be. Now, that said, I only no that now that I have my new little one! It really is trial and error with your baby. People can give you advice and you can try what you would like to. But, more often than not you have to fall into a routine that works for you.

With my new son, when he gets cranky, gassy, or fussy, we rock in his favorite chair and I pull him close, I sing or talk to him in a sweet voice. I relax my body and tap on his bum gently. This is what works for us. He calms down and stares into my eyes. I am relaxed so he is relaxed!

Sleep is such a valued thing. You just feel as though if you can get one good nights sleep the next 6 months will be better somehow!

Your babies sleep patterns will change and it will get better. Just when your body adjusts to no sleep your baby will start to sleep better, that's usually how it goes!

I have figured out that once your baby is getting a little older and is taking in about 24 ounces or more, you can squeeze in those feeding during the day. This makes it so that they are full before they go down to sleep for the night.  You know they have had all they need for the day and if they are waking at night  it is for something other than food. More often than not, this is when they will sleep for a longer period of time at night.

Remember to trust in yourself. Even first time moms have the answers. You know what is best for your baby even if it means trying different methods to find what works for you.


Do you have any advice or tips that you can post on my blog? Maybe you can help another sleepless mother...

Make A Muscle! Make A Difference! MDA

I got a Facebook post from my brother-in -law this morning. In the post he was asking friends and friends of friends to please buy a Shamrock for Muscular Dystrophy. This is their annual program that collects a lot of money for kids with M.D. Our family has a friend who is 7 years old and he has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. We bought a shamrock for him!

The MDA Shamrocks campaign  started in 1982 in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and taken nationally a year later This program raises funds to support MDA’s fight against muscular dystrophy and related diseases, including its programs of research, services, advocacy and education. The program benefits MDA’s nationwide network of some 200 medical clinics, and it helps send thousands of children with muscle diseases to a week of accessible fun at MDA summer camp.

Shamrocks Against Dystrophy is the nation’s largest charity-related fundraiser associated with St. Patrick’s Day.
A number of top retailers and restaurants help sponsor and support the campaign, including: Applebee’s, Burger King, CITGO Petroleum Corporation, Jiffy Lube, Kroger, Lowe’s, Pizza Hut, 7-Eleven and Valero Corner Stores.


So, please buy a shamrock. One dollar can go along way if we all donate!



About MDA
MDA is the nonprofit health agency dedicated to curing muscular dystrophy, ALS and related diseases by funding worldwide research. The Association also provides comprehensive health care and support services, advocacy and education.

Appreciate what you have in the now!

I know we all hear it. We here it from our parents, our teachers, our neighbors, and our mentors. They all tell us to slow down and enjoy what we have. They say never to wish those times away!  Well, I know that is easier said than done and I am guilty of doing this too. As I am sure we all are.

When my 2 older kids were young, I was still a youngster myself. The ripe old age of 23 was when my first child came. And, 3 months after I gave birth to her I found out I was again pregnant with my son. I think this is where I started to rush everything in my life.  I couldn't wait for my daughter to walk because I was going to have another baby to deal with. I couldn't wait until she could talk so I could better understand what she was meaning. I was tired, literally, and tired of not knowing what those cries meant. I was so anxious to get her into a big girl front facing car seat so that I did not have to carry 2 infant car seats. The same happened with my son when he came. I didn't even have an excuse to rush him. There were no babies coming from this momma anytime soon, or if at all!

I couldn't wait until they started preschool and then from preschool I was excited for them to start elementary school, sport, and friends. Well, Let me tell you, it has happened they are in the 3rd and 4rth grade now and all I want is that time back. All that time that I wished away. All those times that I thought "God, I just want her to walk. my back is killing me and I am tired" Well, now I wish that she wanted to crawl in my lap, hold my hand, and ask for me to pick her up. The same goes for my 9 year old son.

Since I have my new little one, I get to enjoy those special moments and I am in no hurry to make him grow up. I want to enjoy every moment with him as I know that in the blink of an eye he will be grown up and not needing me for as much as he used to. I listen to his every cry, every giggle, and every wimper. I hold him when he needs me, I cuddle because I want to, and I stare while he is eating. The rest of the world can wait. My housework goes on hold and I am cherishing every moment I have with him.

So, cherish every moment you have with your children. Hold them tight, read them stories, and tuck them in at night. When you do this, make sure to slow down and enjoy the time you have with them. You never know when it is that you won't have it anymore!

Cut Throat Sports

When did sports become so cut throat? I just finished reading a story about a man who went to his daughters hockey game and, while sitting in the stands, pointed a laser in the eyes of the opposing teams goalie. Really? How did it get to that point? Will the daughter ever look back at that game and wonder if she was good enough to win that game on her own without the "help" of her moron father. Will everyone always look at that game and say "Really, you couldn't have won that game without cheating!"

How are our kids supposed to better themselves if their parent interjects themselves into a situation like this. He should feel ashamed of himself!

It is unbelievable how hard some parents can be on their children when it comes to sports. In my family, we push our kids to exceed in the sports they choose to participate in, but not at the expense of others. I know that if my children or I as a parent help to cheat, they will never learn to be better. There is something to be said for losing. It builds character and teaches a child how to work hard to become better at whatever they will do. You can't cheat your way into the NHL, NFL, or NBA. Your name does not get you into the NHL, NFL, or NBA. And certainly, if you make it their, your father can't sit in the stands and shine a laser in the eyes of the opponents to help you win.  The only thing that will get you into a professional team is your skills and your hard work

We tell our kids the following two statements and they apply all the time.

1."To be the best you have to play with the best"
  This means you want to play against the best players you can. Even if this means you lose every game. The only way you can be better is to watch and learn from those who are better than you.

2. " If you have to tell us how great you are, then you are not so great!"
  First, you can be good at something but there is always room for improvement. And, usually the kid that will walk around talking about how awesome they are and how much better they play than others, isn't that great. It is usually the kid that sits quietly, plays hard, and keeps his mouth shut and listens to others that excels tremendously in a sport and in life.

In conclusion, the lesson in this story is simple. Cheaters never win and winners never cheat! Work hard and win on your own merit. It will make them stronger and will help them excel in life! This goes for kids and parents alike!

Technology and the Loss of Kids Imaginations!

I remember having such a vivid imagination when I was young. I would play house with my sister on the front porch and use our porch swing as the car. I would seat belt my Cabbage Patch kids in with the belt from a bathrobe. We used to pretend there were leprechauns in our yard and set traps for them. We would go into our basement and play barbies with my brothers old Tonka Jeep and make towns out of Lincoln Logs.

There were no talking babies, no handheld games, no laptops, my Cabbage Patch even had yarn for here hair. I had to make my toys talk and walk, I had to pretend that the horse was galloping into the Lincoln Log Barn. Where have all our kids imaginations gone?

As much as technology has done for us, I think it has taken a lot away from our kids. There is really nothing we can do about it. We all adapted and there is no going back. If you go to the store and look at the shelves with the babies on them. There may be 1 or 2 dolls that are just regular dolls that come with a bottle and you have to pretend but the rest can talk, cry, eat, and even poop in their diapers.

Really? How much fun can that possibly be? I have watched my kids over the years get so bored with these toys. They play with them for a few days and then the toy will be found in the bottom of the toy chest with the next stop being a box in the basement.

I watched my kids in my mother-in-laws basement when she was moving. They had taken out their uncles Rock em' Sock em' Robots and Hungry Hungry Hippos. They played those games all day and asked if they could have them to take home. Now, isn't that funny, hours of entertainment by the toys that had the least instant satisfaction!

We waste millions a year for our kids to play with the latest and greatest toys.  I would love to see my kids use their imaginations more. How about you? What are some toys you think make kids use their imaginations?

The Pay It Foward Project!

I am starting the Pay it forward Project! Paying it forward is so important to so many people. The great thing about paying it forward is that it can be something small to you the giver, but be something so huge to the person receiving. You never know.

Paying it forward does not mean it has to be monetary to mean something. Holding a door for a person with a baby carriage or telling the frustrated mother with the screaming kid in the grocery store that it is okay and asking if she needs help. If you have a little extra money maybe it is paying for the elderly mans coffee in front of you.

This Pay it Forward project, for me, is to teach my kids about what it means to give to others. We have payed it forward before and It taught me and my kids a lesson.

6 Years ago, My kids and I would pass a homeless man everyday when we would drop off my husband at work. Same spot, same time, everyday.  Honestly, I would turn my nose up and look away, everyday. My kids started asking me why he holds that sign asking for money. Everyday from then on out I would look at him, first reading the sign then looking at his face. His sign said "Vietnam Vet, Homeless and Hungry". I started thinking where is man could have come from, where he has been, and where he may go. It was pretty sad. Now, I don't have a lot but I did have more than this man had. My kids asked me to give him the money I had in my pocket, which was probably $5 bucks. I could have rolled down my window, given him the money, and rolled along. But, I told them no, I was not going to give this man money. They asked me why and I told them I had something better planned. The next day I packed my husbands lunch for work and I packed my homeless mans lunch. I packed a brown bag with a ham sandwich, chips, a soda, and some snacks. My husband thought I was crazy, but I explained to him that this was going to teach our kids to be generous to others. When we rolled up to the light where he stood, I rolled down my window and handed the brown bag to him. I said, "I don't have money to give to you but here is a lunch for you to eat today".  He said "God Bless you, I will not be hungry today".  My kids felt so good that they had done something nice for him. Truth be told, I felt so good inside. Maybe, he payed it forward in someway. Maybe that brown bag lunch started some kind of chain of events that made someone else have a great day.


I want this to be something that is talked about. Kids and adults alike can learn from this project. So, for the next week, I want to hear your stories about what you, your kids, or your family have done to pay it forward.

Talk to your kids and tell them about this project. Ask them at dinner what they did to pay it forward and tell them what you did in your day to pay it forward.

This project is going to spread kindness and compassion. Remember, something small you might do can change the course of events in someone else's life!

Melanie~

Birthday Parties! My How They have grown

When I was young, my parents idea of a birthday party for us was to have family over to celebrate.We would have so much fun laughing and opening up our presents that each one of our family members would bring for us. We were allowed to have a friend come over for the party and when we were a bit older, that friend could spend the night. Now, I do remember a couple of years that I would have a slumber party for my birthday. That said, I had a blast. I remember my birthday being something I could not wait for. Then and even now, looking back on them, I never remember thinking it was not enough or what was going to top this one next year.

Now, in the present day, with my kids birthdays were becoming a monster. My first 2 children are 11 months apart. We would join their birthday parties together for the first 5 years since their birthdays were only 2 weeks apart, with the exception of the first birthday parties. From their first birthday parties on, I was thinking what was going to top this party for next year. Was I crazy? Family and friends, our friends and theirs. Food, oh the food. I spent days cooking and cleaning and preparing for the big event.

Our first joint birthday party was rather simple, with the exception of the 30 people or so we had at our house. There was cake and apps, but as for other activities the kids were outside playing in the yard with all the toys. Everyone seemed to have a good time including the birthdays kids!

The next year, the kids were turning 3 and 4. We had to up the anti! It was about 30 to 40 people packed into my house. The apps and cake turned into dinner food and a bigger cake. Outside play turned into organized chaos with games to play. and we had prizes and goodie bags! The kids had a good time, and so did the birthday kids. They were a little whiny and when opening our presents there were tears. I would sit back and think to myself, "Do they have any idea what I just did for them? Why were they acting like this? It seems so rude that they are crying and cranky when all these people are here to enjoy this day with them." With the exception of being tired and a little cranky, I made it through. But, again, I am sitting there later in the evening thinking what next years party would be!

Then came our final birthday party even though we did not know it yet. Here we were, turning 4 and 5 years old. This was going to be the best party ever, or at least until next year! So, this year our party size grew. We had more friends from preschool which in turn meant more parents at the party. Each one of the kids had about 15 kids in their class. So, that is 30 kids right there! Each with at least 1 adult and maybe a sibling. Plus our family and our friends and of course the kids friends that were not in their classes. The cooking had to start a week in advance. The cake was started days in advance as  this one was bigger than the last and it had cupcakes for the kids. Decorated with handmade jungle animal chocolate lollipops and palm trees. It was a lot of work. I sat up in my kitchen at night working on the things. I was crying in my kitchen thinking I was never going to be ready for this party. I had so much to do. All the cleaning I had done, I had to do again the day of the party as I had made huge messes with the food prep. It was overwhelming to say the least! I was yelling at my kids and yelling at my husband. Then feeling  guilty for yelling, I would cry.

The party went off great. The kids played games, until the traveling zoo came to the house. We all went downstairs to see, pet, and learn about the animals. My kids got to hold them, even the alligator! It was amazing. There were tears again opening the presents and it took hours to open them. With that many kids there, there were an awful lot of gifts. The kids would get distracted and and then got to a point that they were not even interested in opening them, but we got through it.

At the end of the party when everyone left I got to reflect on the day. As I stood in the doorway starting at the hours of clean up I had in front of me I thought to myself "I cannot top this next year!" I was exhausted, worn out, and emotionally drained.

Was it worth seeing my kids faces holding the animals and blowing out the candles, of course it was. But, would they have been any less happy if it was a birthday party with their family and a friend. Again, I was happy and don't think I missed out on anything when it was my birthday.

I guess, I was doing the parties more as a selfish reason. I think I was trying to out do not only the last party, but other peoples parties. I wanted it to be bigger and better and to have that feeling of people saying wow!

I really reevaluated after the "Zoo party". Every year from then on out, my kids would get money for their birthday. They would pick either myself or my husband to go shopping with. They get to pick out whatever they want at the store. We still have a birthday dinner and we will have birthday cake. We even have some family over to share in the birthday excitement. And you know what, they still have an awesome day!

Melanie~

Tween Drama and Technology, Is There A Link?

What happened to my little girl?  It seems as if over night the tween in her came out. One minute, she was my sweet little girl who batted her eyelashes at her daddy and told us how much she loved us. We could do no wrong. She thought daddy was her hero and she would tell me she wanted to be just like me when she grows up.

I am not sure where this independent, hard headed, do it my way little girl came from!

It seems as though our little girls are growing up, and maybe a little to fast. With all of the technology they have it is really hard to keep them young. Cell Phones, ipods, computers, and texting. When is technology to much?

I got advise from my mother in law when my kids had televisions in their rooms. She told me she never put a tv in her kids rooms until they were a lot older. She said that someone told her that you do not want a tv in their bedrooms even when they are teens because they will tend to withdraw from the family anyway and a tv in the bedroom is just an incentive for them to stay locked away in their room. I gave this great thought and yeah, she is probably right. So, when we just moved into our new house, the televisions did not make it to the bedrooms.  It was an adjustment but really the adjustment was not bad and I am glad to spend that extra time with them now and in the future!

My daughter asked for a cell phone. That was an absolute NO! My husband says she can get one when she is 13, but I am not even sure that is okay. There is to much to worry about with the cell phones. Sexting, pictures, kids sending hurtful texts to one another.

Facebook, While I have an account, I see adults saying things that should not be said. I think we, as adults, can even forget what is appropriate sometimes. What is written on the internet cannot be taken back. you put something out there it stays forever. Forever is a long time especially if you are young. Even something as innocent as a child posting a regular picture online can backfire. Take a look at all the girls that had their pictures pulled from their Facebook profiles and had their faces photo shopped into a child porn site.

Even the innocent game sites kids can sign up for are not harmless. Many of them have pin board or messaging. Friends and can talk to friends, but this seems to be the place that the kids can get bullied easily. Sometimes it it easy for a parent to think it is a kids site and therefore must be okay and appropriate. It is a lot easier to say something mean via technology rather than saying something mean to someones face.


I once heard something about the brain. I heard that the brain is not fully developed until you reach the age of 25. The last part of the brain to fully develop is the part that controls our ability to understand consequences. So, if we give our children access to all of this adult technology and their brains are really not fully ready to handle it, Is it really our kids fault if something bad happens or is it our own for letting them have these adult things?

To me, playground bullying in bad enough. But as a kid you were able to come home and tell your parents how someone was picking on you at recess. With the technology, you can never get away from it. It can haunt someone for a long time. It can leave scars that will never heal. Things that happen to us or happen because of us shape us into who we are as a person. It is our job as parents to police our children and their activities. Be aware and be present in their lives. I know I cannot keep all technology at bay but the things I choose to let my kids have will be watched and monitored very closely to keep them safe and to not harm others.

Melanie~

The Great Grocery Debate! How Much Is To Much?

The dreaded grocery bill! It is something I loath. Every week I seem to spend past my budget that I set for myself.

I take $250 every week from my husbands paycheck. This is supposed to be my money to get grocery's, fill up my gas tank, give my kids lunch money (for the days they don't want to pack), buy diaper, formula, baby food, laundry detergent, etc. And still have cash left in the bank to save for a rainy day! So my husband says. This argument happens every week and has lasted for the past 10 years.

Every week we have the same discussion. "Why do you only have $20 left in your account?" he asks. I reply with the usual "Well, I don't see you complaining when your eating the food and are getting dressed in your clean undies everyday!"

I turned to my Facebook friends to find out what their average food bill was. I must admit, I was feeling bad thinking that I am spending way to much and maybe there was a better way of handling this budget.

Well, interestingly enough, I only spend about $50 to $100 more than the average family of 4 a week. And, I am a family of 5. One of which is a 4 month old.

I am not a huge coupon person. I do use them, but you won't find my sons carriage parked by a dumpster. I don't understand nor have time for the whole coupon craze!. I had someone try to explain to me how to get $200 worth of groceries for $29 bucks. But, I still don't understand. My coupons, they tell me to save, expire. So, I can't hold them until there is a great sale on shampoo and then use all 20 of my coupons and have a stockpile of shampoo my family will refuse to use because it is the generic of some cheap brand name! They tried to explain the idea of getting things for free after an initial investment at the Drug store with the loyalty card. They said you buy one item and get the rewards for them and just pay for each item separately and you keep getting the coupon. One I don't have time for that, and two they put a cap on how many you can buy for that reason. I chuckled when I was told to use a coupon website. I don't need a coupon to buy 2 joint medications  to get $1 off. I want coupons that are for the things that I need every week!

I am finding the grocery store difficult and frustrating. Prices have gone up on most items. This is in part because of the price of oil. It looks as though we will be battling these outrageous prices for the foreseeable future as they said gas is supposed to go over $5 a gallon.

Fruit prices are ridiculous. How are we supposed to feed our families healthy food if we can't afford it. If I want to buy my family grapes for the week there will be a trade off. That means maybe will be eating the on sale chicken with the $2 off coupon (Check the sell by sticker it expires tomorrow!) for 4 nights out of the week instead of 2 nights!

I buy almost all of my items on sale. With a few exceptions. Cereal is one. My family is very particular, no generic and they eat the same thing every week.

I think it is sad that we cannot feed our families healthy food without a trade off. I also think it is sad that we have to go broke doing it. There has to be a way  to tackle the grocery store madness!

If anyone out there has budgeting tips or tips for using coupons, without using them crazily (Please, no dumpster diving tips!). Please let me know. I can't be the only one out there that has this problem!

~Melanie

Welcome to The Mommy Market

I am so excited to start this journey! My decision to start this blog was based on all the questions that are asked on Facebook. Many of my friends and acquaintances on Facebook are mothers and wives. Many of my friends on my friends list do not know each other. So, they don't get to see what an outsiders opinion may be!

I like to share advise on things I have done. Whether it was a good or bad outcome, I still share. Many of us can learn from others trial and errors, Especially as a mother! Somethings work and somethings don't. What might work for one may not work for all, but it certainly can help to guide someone who may have no idea what to do.

I want this blog to be an open platform for all types of question pertaining to Mommyhood!

So, check out the pages and the blog posts as they will be changing weekly.

I hope you enjoy reading and sharing!

Melanie