Thursday, February 23, 2012

Tween Drama and Technology, Is There A Link?

What happened to my little girl?  It seems as if over night the tween in her came out. One minute, she was my sweet little girl who batted her eyelashes at her daddy and told us how much she loved us. We could do no wrong. She thought daddy was her hero and she would tell me she wanted to be just like me when she grows up.

I am not sure where this independent, hard headed, do it my way little girl came from!

It seems as though our little girls are growing up, and maybe a little to fast. With all of the technology they have it is really hard to keep them young. Cell Phones, ipods, computers, and texting. When is technology to much?

I got advise from my mother in law when my kids had televisions in their rooms. She told me she never put a tv in her kids rooms until they were a lot older. She said that someone told her that you do not want a tv in their bedrooms even when they are teens because they will tend to withdraw from the family anyway and a tv in the bedroom is just an incentive for them to stay locked away in their room. I gave this great thought and yeah, she is probably right. So, when we just moved into our new house, the televisions did not make it to the bedrooms.  It was an adjustment but really the adjustment was not bad and I am glad to spend that extra time with them now and in the future!

My daughter asked for a cell phone. That was an absolute NO! My husband says she can get one when she is 13, but I am not even sure that is okay. There is to much to worry about with the cell phones. Sexting, pictures, kids sending hurtful texts to one another.

Facebook, While I have an account, I see adults saying things that should not be said. I think we, as adults, can even forget what is appropriate sometimes. What is written on the internet cannot be taken back. you put something out there it stays forever. Forever is a long time especially if you are young. Even something as innocent as a child posting a regular picture online can backfire. Take a look at all the girls that had their pictures pulled from their Facebook profiles and had their faces photo shopped into a child porn site.

Even the innocent game sites kids can sign up for are not harmless. Many of them have pin board or messaging. Friends and can talk to friends, but this seems to be the place that the kids can get bullied easily. Sometimes it it easy for a parent to think it is a kids site and therefore must be okay and appropriate. It is a lot easier to say something mean via technology rather than saying something mean to someones face.


I once heard something about the brain. I heard that the brain is not fully developed until you reach the age of 25. The last part of the brain to fully develop is the part that controls our ability to understand consequences. So, if we give our children access to all of this adult technology and their brains are really not fully ready to handle it, Is it really our kids fault if something bad happens or is it our own for letting them have these adult things?

To me, playground bullying in bad enough. But as a kid you were able to come home and tell your parents how someone was picking on you at recess. With the technology, you can never get away from it. It can haunt someone for a long time. It can leave scars that will never heal. Things that happen to us or happen because of us shape us into who we are as a person. It is our job as parents to police our children and their activities. Be aware and be present in their lives. I know I cannot keep all technology at bay but the things I choose to let my kids have will be watched and monitored very closely to keep them safe and to not harm others.

Melanie~