I remember having such a vivid imagination when I was young. I would play house with my sister on the front porch and use our porch swing as the car. I would seat belt my Cabbage Patch kids in with the belt from a bathrobe. We used to pretend there were leprechauns in our yard and set traps for them. We would go into our basement and play barbies with my brothers old Tonka Jeep and make towns out of Lincoln Logs.
There were no talking babies, no handheld games, no laptops, my Cabbage Patch even had yarn for here hair. I had to make my toys talk and walk, I had to pretend that the horse was galloping into the Lincoln Log Barn. Where have all our kids imaginations gone?
As much as technology has done for us, I think it has taken a lot away from our kids. There is really nothing we can do about it. We all adapted and there is no going back. If you go to the store and look at the shelves with the babies on them. There may be 1 or 2 dolls that are just regular dolls that come with a bottle and you have to pretend but the rest can talk, cry, eat, and even poop in their diapers.
Really? How much fun can that possibly be? I have watched my kids over the years get so bored with these toys. They play with them for a few days and then the toy will be found in the bottom of the toy chest with the next stop being a box in the basement.
I watched my kids in my mother-in-laws basement when she was moving. They had taken out their uncles Rock em' Sock em' Robots and Hungry Hungry Hippos. They played those games all day and asked if they could have them to take home. Now, isn't that funny, hours of entertainment by the toys that had the least instant satisfaction!
We waste millions a year for our kids to play with the latest and greatest toys. I would love to see my kids use their imaginations more. How about you? What are some toys you think make kids use their imaginations?
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
The Pay It Foward Project!
I am starting the Pay it forward Project! Paying it forward is so important to so many people. The great thing about paying it forward is that it can be something small to you the giver, but be something so huge to the person receiving. You never know.
Paying it forward does not mean it has to be monetary to mean something. Holding a door for a person with a baby carriage or telling the frustrated mother with the screaming kid in the grocery store that it is okay and asking if she needs help. If you have a little extra money maybe it is paying for the elderly mans coffee in front of you.
This Pay it Forward project, for me, is to teach my kids about what it means to give to others. We have payed it forward before and It taught me and my kids a lesson.
6 Years ago, My kids and I would pass a homeless man everyday when we would drop off my husband at work. Same spot, same time, everyday. Honestly, I would turn my nose up and look away, everyday. My kids started asking me why he holds that sign asking for money. Everyday from then on out I would look at him, first reading the sign then looking at his face. His sign said "Vietnam Vet, Homeless and Hungry". I started thinking where is man could have come from, where he has been, and where he may go. It was pretty sad. Now, I don't have a lot but I did have more than this man had. My kids asked me to give him the money I had in my pocket, which was probably $5 bucks. I could have rolled down my window, given him the money, and rolled along. But, I told them no, I was not going to give this man money. They asked me why and I told them I had something better planned. The next day I packed my husbands lunch for work and I packed my homeless mans lunch. I packed a brown bag with a ham sandwich, chips, a soda, and some snacks. My husband thought I was crazy, but I explained to him that this was going to teach our kids to be generous to others. When we rolled up to the light where he stood, I rolled down my window and handed the brown bag to him. I said, "I don't have money to give to you but here is a lunch for you to eat today". He said "God Bless you, I will not be hungry today". My kids felt so good that they had done something nice for him. Truth be told, I felt so good inside. Maybe, he payed it forward in someway. Maybe that brown bag lunch started some kind of chain of events that made someone else have a great day.
I want this to be something that is talked about. Kids and adults alike can learn from this project. So, for the next week, I want to hear your stories about what you, your kids, or your family have done to pay it forward.
Talk to your kids and tell them about this project. Ask them at dinner what they did to pay it forward and tell them what you did in your day to pay it forward.
This project is going to spread kindness and compassion. Remember, something small you might do can change the course of events in someone else's life!
Melanie~
Paying it forward does not mean it has to be monetary to mean something. Holding a door for a person with a baby carriage or telling the frustrated mother with the screaming kid in the grocery store that it is okay and asking if she needs help. If you have a little extra money maybe it is paying for the elderly mans coffee in front of you.
This Pay it Forward project, for me, is to teach my kids about what it means to give to others. We have payed it forward before and It taught me and my kids a lesson.
6 Years ago, My kids and I would pass a homeless man everyday when we would drop off my husband at work. Same spot, same time, everyday. Honestly, I would turn my nose up and look away, everyday. My kids started asking me why he holds that sign asking for money. Everyday from then on out I would look at him, first reading the sign then looking at his face. His sign said "Vietnam Vet, Homeless and Hungry". I started thinking where is man could have come from, where he has been, and where he may go. It was pretty sad. Now, I don't have a lot but I did have more than this man had. My kids asked me to give him the money I had in my pocket, which was probably $5 bucks. I could have rolled down my window, given him the money, and rolled along. But, I told them no, I was not going to give this man money. They asked me why and I told them I had something better planned. The next day I packed my husbands lunch for work and I packed my homeless mans lunch. I packed a brown bag with a ham sandwich, chips, a soda, and some snacks. My husband thought I was crazy, but I explained to him that this was going to teach our kids to be generous to others. When we rolled up to the light where he stood, I rolled down my window and handed the brown bag to him. I said, "I don't have money to give to you but here is a lunch for you to eat today". He said "God Bless you, I will not be hungry today". My kids felt so good that they had done something nice for him. Truth be told, I felt so good inside. Maybe, he payed it forward in someway. Maybe that brown bag lunch started some kind of chain of events that made someone else have a great day.
I want this to be something that is talked about. Kids and adults alike can learn from this project. So, for the next week, I want to hear your stories about what you, your kids, or your family have done to pay it forward.
Talk to your kids and tell them about this project. Ask them at dinner what they did to pay it forward and tell them what you did in your day to pay it forward.
This project is going to spread kindness and compassion. Remember, something small you might do can change the course of events in someone else's life!
Melanie~
Monday, February 27, 2012
Birthday Parties! My How They have grown
When I was young, my parents idea of a birthday party for us was to have family over to celebrate.We would have so much fun laughing and opening up our presents that each one of our family members would bring for us. We were allowed to have a friend come over for the party and when we were a bit older, that friend could spend the night. Now, I do remember a couple of years that I would have a slumber party for my birthday. That said, I had a blast. I remember my birthday being something I could not wait for. Then and even now, looking back on them, I never remember thinking it was not enough or what was going to top this one next year.
Now, in the present day, with my kids birthdays were becoming a monster. My first 2 children are 11 months apart. We would join their birthday parties together for the first 5 years since their birthdays were only 2 weeks apart, with the exception of the first birthday parties. From their first birthday parties on, I was thinking what was going to top this party for next year. Was I crazy? Family and friends, our friends and theirs. Food, oh the food. I spent days cooking and cleaning and preparing for the big event.
Our first joint birthday party was rather simple, with the exception of the 30 people or so we had at our house. There was cake and apps, but as for other activities the kids were outside playing in the yard with all the toys. Everyone seemed to have a good time including the birthdays kids!
The next year, the kids were turning 3 and 4. We had to up the anti! It was about 30 to 40 people packed into my house. The apps and cake turned into dinner food and a bigger cake. Outside play turned into organized chaos with games to play. and we had prizes and goodie bags! The kids had a good time, and so did the birthday kids. They were a little whiny and when opening our presents there were tears. I would sit back and think to myself, "Do they have any idea what I just did for them? Why were they acting like this? It seems so rude that they are crying and cranky when all these people are here to enjoy this day with them." With the exception of being tired and a little cranky, I made it through. But, again, I am sitting there later in the evening thinking what next years party would be!
Then came our final birthday party even though we did not know it yet. Here we were, turning 4 and 5 years old. This was going to be the best party ever, or at least until next year! So, this year our party size grew. We had more friends from preschool which in turn meant more parents at the party. Each one of the kids had about 15 kids in their class. So, that is 30 kids right there! Each with at least 1 adult and maybe a sibling. Plus our family and our friends and of course the kids friends that were not in their classes. The cooking had to start a week in advance. The cake was started days in advance as this one was bigger than the last and it had cupcakes for the kids. Decorated with handmade jungle animal chocolate lollipops and palm trees. It was a lot of work. I sat up in my kitchen at night working on the things. I was crying in my kitchen thinking I was never going to be ready for this party. I had so much to do. All the cleaning I had done, I had to do again the day of the party as I had made huge messes with the food prep. It was overwhelming to say the least! I was yelling at my kids and yelling at my husband. Then feeling guilty for yelling, I would cry.
The party went off great. The kids played games, until the traveling zoo came to the house. We all went downstairs to see, pet, and learn about the animals. My kids got to hold them, even the alligator! It was amazing. There were tears again opening the presents and it took hours to open them. With that many kids there, there were an awful lot of gifts. The kids would get distracted and and then got to a point that they were not even interested in opening them, but we got through it.
At the end of the party when everyone left I got to reflect on the day. As I stood in the doorway starting at the hours of clean up I had in front of me I thought to myself "I cannot top this next year!" I was exhausted, worn out, and emotionally drained.
Was it worth seeing my kids faces holding the animals and blowing out the candles, of course it was. But, would they have been any less happy if it was a birthday party with their family and a friend. Again, I was happy and don't think I missed out on anything when it was my birthday.
I guess, I was doing the parties more as a selfish reason. I think I was trying to out do not only the last party, but other peoples parties. I wanted it to be bigger and better and to have that feeling of people saying wow!
I really reevaluated after the "Zoo party". Every year from then on out, my kids would get money for their birthday. They would pick either myself or my husband to go shopping with. They get to pick out whatever they want at the store. We still have a birthday dinner and we will have birthday cake. We even have some family over to share in the birthday excitement. And you know what, they still have an awesome day!
Melanie~
Now, in the present day, with my kids birthdays were becoming a monster. My first 2 children are 11 months apart. We would join their birthday parties together for the first 5 years since their birthdays were only 2 weeks apart, with the exception of the first birthday parties. From their first birthday parties on, I was thinking what was going to top this party for next year. Was I crazy? Family and friends, our friends and theirs. Food, oh the food. I spent days cooking and cleaning and preparing for the big event.
Our first joint birthday party was rather simple, with the exception of the 30 people or so we had at our house. There was cake and apps, but as for other activities the kids were outside playing in the yard with all the toys. Everyone seemed to have a good time including the birthdays kids!
The next year, the kids were turning 3 and 4. We had to up the anti! It was about 30 to 40 people packed into my house. The apps and cake turned into dinner food and a bigger cake. Outside play turned into organized chaos with games to play. and we had prizes and goodie bags! The kids had a good time, and so did the birthday kids. They were a little whiny and when opening our presents there were tears. I would sit back and think to myself, "Do they have any idea what I just did for them? Why were they acting like this? It seems so rude that they are crying and cranky when all these people are here to enjoy this day with them." With the exception of being tired and a little cranky, I made it through. But, again, I am sitting there later in the evening thinking what next years party would be!
Then came our final birthday party even though we did not know it yet. Here we were, turning 4 and 5 years old. This was going to be the best party ever, or at least until next year! So, this year our party size grew. We had more friends from preschool which in turn meant more parents at the party. Each one of the kids had about 15 kids in their class. So, that is 30 kids right there! Each with at least 1 adult and maybe a sibling. Plus our family and our friends and of course the kids friends that were not in their classes. The cooking had to start a week in advance. The cake was started days in advance as this one was bigger than the last and it had cupcakes for the kids. Decorated with handmade jungle animal chocolate lollipops and palm trees. It was a lot of work. I sat up in my kitchen at night working on the things. I was crying in my kitchen thinking I was never going to be ready for this party. I had so much to do. All the cleaning I had done, I had to do again the day of the party as I had made huge messes with the food prep. It was overwhelming to say the least! I was yelling at my kids and yelling at my husband. Then feeling guilty for yelling, I would cry.
The party went off great. The kids played games, until the traveling zoo came to the house. We all went downstairs to see, pet, and learn about the animals. My kids got to hold them, even the alligator! It was amazing. There were tears again opening the presents and it took hours to open them. With that many kids there, there were an awful lot of gifts. The kids would get distracted and and then got to a point that they were not even interested in opening them, but we got through it.
At the end of the party when everyone left I got to reflect on the day. As I stood in the doorway starting at the hours of clean up I had in front of me I thought to myself "I cannot top this next year!" I was exhausted, worn out, and emotionally drained.
Was it worth seeing my kids faces holding the animals and blowing out the candles, of course it was. But, would they have been any less happy if it was a birthday party with their family and a friend. Again, I was happy and don't think I missed out on anything when it was my birthday.
I guess, I was doing the parties more as a selfish reason. I think I was trying to out do not only the last party, but other peoples parties. I wanted it to be bigger and better and to have that feeling of people saying wow!
I really reevaluated after the "Zoo party". Every year from then on out, my kids would get money for their birthday. They would pick either myself or my husband to go shopping with. They get to pick out whatever they want at the store. We still have a birthday dinner and we will have birthday cake. We even have some family over to share in the birthday excitement. And you know what, they still have an awesome day!
Melanie~
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Tween Drama and Technology, Is There A Link?
What happened to my little girl? It seems as if over night the tween in her came out. One minute, she was my sweet little girl who batted her eyelashes at her daddy and told us how much she loved us. We could do no wrong. She thought daddy was her hero and she would tell me she wanted to be just like me when she grows up.
I am not sure where this independent, hard headed, do it my way little girl came from!
It seems as though our little girls are growing up, and maybe a little to fast. With all of the technology they have it is really hard to keep them young. Cell Phones, ipods, computers, and texting. When is technology to much?
I got advise from my mother in law when my kids had televisions in their rooms. She told me she never put a tv in her kids rooms until they were a lot older. She said that someone told her that you do not want a tv in their bedrooms even when they are teens because they will tend to withdraw from the family anyway and a tv in the bedroom is just an incentive for them to stay locked away in their room. I gave this great thought and yeah, she is probably right. So, when we just moved into our new house, the televisions did not make it to the bedrooms. It was an adjustment but really the adjustment was not bad and I am glad to spend that extra time with them now and in the future!
My daughter asked for a cell phone. That was an absolute NO! My husband says she can get one when she is 13, but I am not even sure that is okay. There is to much to worry about with the cell phones. Sexting, pictures, kids sending hurtful texts to one another.
Facebook, While I have an account, I see adults saying things that should not be said. I think we, as adults, can even forget what is appropriate sometimes. What is written on the internet cannot be taken back. you put something out there it stays forever. Forever is a long time especially if you are young. Even something as innocent as a child posting a regular picture online can backfire. Take a look at all the girls that had their pictures pulled from their Facebook profiles and had their faces photo shopped into a child porn site.
Even the innocent game sites kids can sign up for are not harmless. Many of them have pin board or messaging. Friends and can talk to friends, but this seems to be the place that the kids can get bullied easily. Sometimes it it easy for a parent to think it is a kids site and therefore must be okay and appropriate. It is a lot easier to say something mean via technology rather than saying something mean to someones face.
I once heard something about the brain. I heard that the brain is not fully developed until you reach the age of 25. The last part of the brain to fully develop is the part that controls our ability to understand consequences. So, if we give our children access to all of this adult technology and their brains are really not fully ready to handle it, Is it really our kids fault if something bad happens or is it our own for letting them have these adult things?
To me, playground bullying in bad enough. But as a kid you were able to come home and tell your parents how someone was picking on you at recess. With the technology, you can never get away from it. It can haunt someone for a long time. It can leave scars that will never heal. Things that happen to us or happen because of us shape us into who we are as a person. It is our job as parents to police our children and their activities. Be aware and be present in their lives. I know I cannot keep all technology at bay but the things I choose to let my kids have will be watched and monitored very closely to keep them safe and to not harm others.
Melanie~
I am not sure where this independent, hard headed, do it my way little girl came from!
It seems as though our little girls are growing up, and maybe a little to fast. With all of the technology they have it is really hard to keep them young. Cell Phones, ipods, computers, and texting. When is technology to much?
I got advise from my mother in law when my kids had televisions in their rooms. She told me she never put a tv in her kids rooms until they were a lot older. She said that someone told her that you do not want a tv in their bedrooms even when they are teens because they will tend to withdraw from the family anyway and a tv in the bedroom is just an incentive for them to stay locked away in their room. I gave this great thought and yeah, she is probably right. So, when we just moved into our new house, the televisions did not make it to the bedrooms. It was an adjustment but really the adjustment was not bad and I am glad to spend that extra time with them now and in the future!
My daughter asked for a cell phone. That was an absolute NO! My husband says she can get one when she is 13, but I am not even sure that is okay. There is to much to worry about with the cell phones. Sexting, pictures, kids sending hurtful texts to one another.
Facebook, While I have an account, I see adults saying things that should not be said. I think we, as adults, can even forget what is appropriate sometimes. What is written on the internet cannot be taken back. you put something out there it stays forever. Forever is a long time especially if you are young. Even something as innocent as a child posting a regular picture online can backfire. Take a look at all the girls that had their pictures pulled from their Facebook profiles and had their faces photo shopped into a child porn site.
Even the innocent game sites kids can sign up for are not harmless. Many of them have pin board or messaging. Friends and can talk to friends, but this seems to be the place that the kids can get bullied easily. Sometimes it it easy for a parent to think it is a kids site and therefore must be okay and appropriate. It is a lot easier to say something mean via technology rather than saying something mean to someones face.
I once heard something about the brain. I heard that the brain is not fully developed until you reach the age of 25. The last part of the brain to fully develop is the part that controls our ability to understand consequences. So, if we give our children access to all of this adult technology and their brains are really not fully ready to handle it, Is it really our kids fault if something bad happens or is it our own for letting them have these adult things?
To me, playground bullying in bad enough. But as a kid you were able to come home and tell your parents how someone was picking on you at recess. With the technology, you can never get away from it. It can haunt someone for a long time. It can leave scars that will never heal. Things that happen to us or happen because of us shape us into who we are as a person. It is our job as parents to police our children and their activities. Be aware and be present in their lives. I know I cannot keep all technology at bay but the things I choose to let my kids have will be watched and monitored very closely to keep them safe and to not harm others.
Melanie~
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
The Great Grocery Debate! How Much Is To Much?
The dreaded grocery bill! It is something I loath. Every week I seem to spend past my budget that I set for myself.
I take $250 every week from my husbands paycheck. This is supposed to be my money to get grocery's, fill up my gas tank, give my kids lunch money (for the days they don't want to pack), buy diaper, formula, baby food, laundry detergent, etc. And still have cash left in the bank to save for a rainy day! So my husband says. This argument happens every week and has lasted for the past 10 years.
Every week we have the same discussion. "Why do you only have $20 left in your account?" he asks. I reply with the usual "Well, I don't see you complaining when your eating the food and are getting dressed in your clean undies everyday!"
I turned to my Facebook friends to find out what their average food bill was. I must admit, I was feeling bad thinking that I am spending way to much and maybe there was a better way of handling this budget.
Well, interestingly enough, I only spend about $50 to $100 more than the average family of 4 a week. And, I am a family of 5. One of which is a 4 month old.
I am not a huge coupon person. I do use them, but you won't find my sons carriage parked by a dumpster. I don't understand nor have time for the whole coupon craze!. I had someone try to explain to me how to get $200 worth of groceries for $29 bucks. But, I still don't understand. My coupons, they tell me to save, expire. So, I can't hold them until there is a great sale on shampoo and then use all 20 of my coupons and have a stockpile of shampoo my family will refuse to use because it is the generic of some cheap brand name! They tried to explain the idea of getting things for free after an initial investment at the Drug store with the loyalty card. They said you buy one item and get the rewards for them and just pay for each item separately and you keep getting the coupon. One I don't have time for that, and two they put a cap on how many you can buy for that reason. I chuckled when I was told to use a coupon website. I don't need a coupon to buy 2 joint medications to get $1 off. I want coupons that are for the things that I need every week!
I am finding the grocery store difficult and frustrating. Prices have gone up on most items. This is in part because of the price of oil. It looks as though we will be battling these outrageous prices for the foreseeable future as they said gas is supposed to go over $5 a gallon.
Fruit prices are ridiculous. How are we supposed to feed our families healthy food if we can't afford it. If I want to buy my family grapes for the week there will be a trade off. That means maybe will be eating the on sale chicken with the $2 off coupon (Check the sell by sticker it expires tomorrow!) for 4 nights out of the week instead of 2 nights!
I buy almost all of my items on sale. With a few exceptions. Cereal is one. My family is very particular, no generic and they eat the same thing every week.
I think it is sad that we cannot feed our families healthy food without a trade off. I also think it is sad that we have to go broke doing it. There has to be a way to tackle the grocery store madness!
If anyone out there has budgeting tips or tips for using coupons, without using them crazily (Please, no dumpster diving tips!). Please let me know. I can't be the only one out there that has this problem!
~Melanie
I take $250 every week from my husbands paycheck. This is supposed to be my money to get grocery's, fill up my gas tank, give my kids lunch money (for the days they don't want to pack), buy diaper, formula, baby food, laundry detergent, etc. And still have cash left in the bank to save for a rainy day! So my husband says. This argument happens every week and has lasted for the past 10 years.
Every week we have the same discussion. "Why do you only have $20 left in your account?" he asks. I reply with the usual "Well, I don't see you complaining when your eating the food and are getting dressed in your clean undies everyday!"
I turned to my Facebook friends to find out what their average food bill was. I must admit, I was feeling bad thinking that I am spending way to much and maybe there was a better way of handling this budget.
Well, interestingly enough, I only spend about $50 to $100 more than the average family of 4 a week. And, I am a family of 5. One of which is a 4 month old.
I am not a huge coupon person. I do use them, but you won't find my sons carriage parked by a dumpster. I don't understand nor have time for the whole coupon craze!. I had someone try to explain to me how to get $200 worth of groceries for $29 bucks. But, I still don't understand. My coupons, they tell me to save, expire. So, I can't hold them until there is a great sale on shampoo and then use all 20 of my coupons and have a stockpile of shampoo my family will refuse to use because it is the generic of some cheap brand name! They tried to explain the idea of getting things for free after an initial investment at the Drug store with the loyalty card. They said you buy one item and get the rewards for them and just pay for each item separately and you keep getting the coupon. One I don't have time for that, and two they put a cap on how many you can buy for that reason. I chuckled when I was told to use a coupon website. I don't need a coupon to buy 2 joint medications to get $1 off. I want coupons that are for the things that I need every week!
I am finding the grocery store difficult and frustrating. Prices have gone up on most items. This is in part because of the price of oil. It looks as though we will be battling these outrageous prices for the foreseeable future as they said gas is supposed to go over $5 a gallon.
Fruit prices are ridiculous. How are we supposed to feed our families healthy food if we can't afford it. If I want to buy my family grapes for the week there will be a trade off. That means maybe will be eating the on sale chicken with the $2 off coupon (Check the sell by sticker it expires tomorrow!) for 4 nights out of the week instead of 2 nights!
I buy almost all of my items on sale. With a few exceptions. Cereal is one. My family is very particular, no generic and they eat the same thing every week.
I think it is sad that we cannot feed our families healthy food without a trade off. I also think it is sad that we have to go broke doing it. There has to be a way to tackle the grocery store madness!
If anyone out there has budgeting tips or tips for using coupons, without using them crazily (Please, no dumpster diving tips!). Please let me know. I can't be the only one out there that has this problem!
~Melanie
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Welcome to The Mommy Market
I am so excited to start this journey! My decision to start this blog was based on all the questions that are asked on Facebook. Many of my friends and acquaintances on Facebook are mothers and wives. Many of my friends on my friends list do not know each other. So, they don't get to see what an outsiders opinion may be!
I like to share advise on things I have done. Whether it was a good or bad outcome, I still share. Many of us can learn from others trial and errors, Especially as a mother! Somethings work and somethings don't. What might work for one may not work for all, but it certainly can help to guide someone who may have no idea what to do.
I want this blog to be an open platform for all types of question pertaining to Mommyhood!
So, check out the pages and the blog posts as they will be changing weekly.
I hope you enjoy reading and sharing!
Melanie
I like to share advise on things I have done. Whether it was a good or bad outcome, I still share. Many of us can learn from others trial and errors, Especially as a mother! Somethings work and somethings don't. What might work for one may not work for all, but it certainly can help to guide someone who may have no idea what to do.
I want this blog to be an open platform for all types of question pertaining to Mommyhood!
So, check out the pages and the blog posts as they will be changing weekly.
I hope you enjoy reading and sharing!
Melanie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)