Tween Drama and Technology, Is There A Link?

What happened to my little girl?  It seems as if over night the tween in her came out. One minute, she was my sweet little girl who batted her eyelashes at her daddy and told us how much she loved us. We could do no wrong. She thought daddy was her hero and she would tell me she wanted to be just like me when she grows up.

I am not sure where this independent, hard headed, do it my way little girl came from!

It seems as though our little girls are growing up, and maybe a little to fast. With all of the technology they have it is really hard to keep them young. Cell Phones, ipods, computers, and texting. When is technology to much?

I got advise from my mother in law when my kids had televisions in their rooms. She told me she never put a tv in her kids rooms until they were a lot older. She said that someone told her that you do not want a tv in their bedrooms even when they are teens because they will tend to withdraw from the family anyway and a tv in the bedroom is just an incentive for them to stay locked away in their room. I gave this great thought and yeah, she is probably right. So, when we just moved into our new house, the televisions did not make it to the bedrooms.  It was an adjustment but really the adjustment was not bad and I am glad to spend that extra time with them now and in the future!

My daughter asked for a cell phone. That was an absolute NO! My husband says she can get one when she is 13, but I am not even sure that is okay. There is to much to worry about with the cell phones. Sexting, pictures, kids sending hurtful texts to one another.

Facebook, While I have an account, I see adults saying things that should not be said. I think we, as adults, can even forget what is appropriate sometimes. What is written on the internet cannot be taken back. you put something out there it stays forever. Forever is a long time especially if you are young. Even something as innocent as a child posting a regular picture online can backfire. Take a look at all the girls that had their pictures pulled from their Facebook profiles and had their faces photo shopped into a child porn site.

Even the innocent game sites kids can sign up for are not harmless. Many of them have pin board or messaging. Friends and can talk to friends, but this seems to be the place that the kids can get bullied easily. Sometimes it it easy for a parent to think it is a kids site and therefore must be okay and appropriate. It is a lot easier to say something mean via technology rather than saying something mean to someones face.


I once heard something about the brain. I heard that the brain is not fully developed until you reach the age of 25. The last part of the brain to fully develop is the part that controls our ability to understand consequences. So, if we give our children access to all of this adult technology and their brains are really not fully ready to handle it, Is it really our kids fault if something bad happens or is it our own for letting them have these adult things?

To me, playground bullying in bad enough. But as a kid you were able to come home and tell your parents how someone was picking on you at recess. With the technology, you can never get away from it. It can haunt someone for a long time. It can leave scars that will never heal. Things that happen to us or happen because of us shape us into who we are as a person. It is our job as parents to police our children and their activities. Be aware and be present in their lives. I know I cannot keep all technology at bay but the things I choose to let my kids have will be watched and monitored very closely to keep them safe and to not harm others.

Melanie~

The Great Grocery Debate! How Much Is To Much?

The dreaded grocery bill! It is something I loath. Every week I seem to spend past my budget that I set for myself.

I take $250 every week from my husbands paycheck. This is supposed to be my money to get grocery's, fill up my gas tank, give my kids lunch money (for the days they don't want to pack), buy diaper, formula, baby food, laundry detergent, etc. And still have cash left in the bank to save for a rainy day! So my husband says. This argument happens every week and has lasted for the past 10 years.

Every week we have the same discussion. "Why do you only have $20 left in your account?" he asks. I reply with the usual "Well, I don't see you complaining when your eating the food and are getting dressed in your clean undies everyday!"

I turned to my Facebook friends to find out what their average food bill was. I must admit, I was feeling bad thinking that I am spending way to much and maybe there was a better way of handling this budget.

Well, interestingly enough, I only spend about $50 to $100 more than the average family of 4 a week. And, I am a family of 5. One of which is a 4 month old.

I am not a huge coupon person. I do use them, but you won't find my sons carriage parked by a dumpster. I don't understand nor have time for the whole coupon craze!. I had someone try to explain to me how to get $200 worth of groceries for $29 bucks. But, I still don't understand. My coupons, they tell me to save, expire. So, I can't hold them until there is a great sale on shampoo and then use all 20 of my coupons and have a stockpile of shampoo my family will refuse to use because it is the generic of some cheap brand name! They tried to explain the idea of getting things for free after an initial investment at the Drug store with the loyalty card. They said you buy one item and get the rewards for them and just pay for each item separately and you keep getting the coupon. One I don't have time for that, and two they put a cap on how many you can buy for that reason. I chuckled when I was told to use a coupon website. I don't need a coupon to buy 2 joint medications  to get $1 off. I want coupons that are for the things that I need every week!

I am finding the grocery store difficult and frustrating. Prices have gone up on most items. This is in part because of the price of oil. It looks as though we will be battling these outrageous prices for the foreseeable future as they said gas is supposed to go over $5 a gallon.

Fruit prices are ridiculous. How are we supposed to feed our families healthy food if we can't afford it. If I want to buy my family grapes for the week there will be a trade off. That means maybe will be eating the on sale chicken with the $2 off coupon (Check the sell by sticker it expires tomorrow!) for 4 nights out of the week instead of 2 nights!

I buy almost all of my items on sale. With a few exceptions. Cereal is one. My family is very particular, no generic and they eat the same thing every week.

I think it is sad that we cannot feed our families healthy food without a trade off. I also think it is sad that we have to go broke doing it. There has to be a way  to tackle the grocery store madness!

If anyone out there has budgeting tips or tips for using coupons, without using them crazily (Please, no dumpster diving tips!). Please let me know. I can't be the only one out there that has this problem!

~Melanie

Welcome to The Mommy Market

I am so excited to start this journey! My decision to start this blog was based on all the questions that are asked on Facebook. Many of my friends and acquaintances on Facebook are mothers and wives. Many of my friends on my friends list do not know each other. So, they don't get to see what an outsiders opinion may be!

I like to share advise on things I have done. Whether it was a good or bad outcome, I still share. Many of us can learn from others trial and errors, Especially as a mother! Somethings work and somethings don't. What might work for one may not work for all, but it certainly can help to guide someone who may have no idea what to do.

I want this blog to be an open platform for all types of question pertaining to Mommyhood!

So, check out the pages and the blog posts as they will be changing weekly.

I hope you enjoy reading and sharing!

Melanie