I know I am a little behind in talking about this and I am sure this has been discussed with many of your friends and family. It took me a few days to gather my thoughts on this attachment parenting article.
The picture is shocking and that is eactly what Time Magazine wanted. That is the way we gather attention now a days. I think they learned it from the youngsters. The old saying "Any attention is good attention" seems to apply here. But, I am not totally disgusted by the picture or the article. My problem is with the title "Are You Mom Enough".
What is mom enough? What does it actually mean? Is it degrading moms that don't ad up to what society puts on us?
I am all for moms who want to do this attachment parenting. I am all for moms that want to chew up their kids foods and spit it into their mouths. I am all for moms who decide to co sleep with their children. Sound crazy for me to make this statement? Well the reason I say it is because it doesn't pertain to me. I really should say I could care less if they want to do it. It does not affect me, my children, or my family.
Parenting is making decisions day in and day out. Making those decisions is based on what is right for your family. When my kids were born I didn't see a manual pop out after the baby and before the placenta. I really wish there was such a thing, my life would be so much easier.
My decisions I make for my kids may or may not affect them later on in life. We all do not know unless we can become phsycic somehow. We canot predict the outcome of what will happen to a 5 year old that still nurses. Maybe he will thrive and maybe he will not. But it is just the same for me who switched to bottle feeding. How will we know that later on in life it will affect him in a positive or negative way? The asnswer is we don't.
I know that I am not any less of a mom for any of the decisions I have made for my children from birth to present. I do not beat my children. I have raised them to be repectful of others. I have taught them to learn and grow and thrive in their enviroment. The same as any other mother that makes the decisions she has to for her family.
So in conclusion, I don't care what your decision is or how you come about it. Raising kids is hard enough. Don't hold what society tells you that you should do over your own head. Remember you are Mom Enough!
Do you agree? Disagree with what I think?
Tell me what your thoughts arhis subject.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Mother's Day Shout Out!
As I sit here tonight on the eve of mother's day, I am thinking of all the things I have learned from my mother. I learned everything from her. From cooking and cleaning to caring for children and taking care of a family. I was raised by a stay at home mom and I learned everything I know from my mom.
When I was a young teenager I took my mom for granted, as I am sure most of us do. Never really thinking about how I would someday need and use all the things she has taught me. I look at my daughter and hope that I am teaching her the same way I learned. I remember all those times that I gave my mom a hard time and fought her on everything from how much candy i could eat to what my curfew was when I became a teen. I now know that it was not easy for her and it is the most difficult job, ever! I have since called several times and apologized to her. Life is coming back around and it is biting me right in the behind with my daughter.
I think about all the silly litte cards I made for my mom over the years when my kids hand me what they have made. When my kids bring me my coffee in the morning, I will be thinking about all the attempts I made to make breakfast in bed for my mom.
All in all I love being a mom. I love my kids more than anything. As my children are celebrating me tomorrow. I will be celebrating my mom because without her I would not be the woman I am today!
I love you Mama, Happy Mother's Day!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
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Click on the Following link, Like The Mommy Market on Facebook, and Share with at least 1 friend (and notify me on the facebook page) You will be entered into a drawing for a $25 Barnes and Noble Gift Certificate! I will draw a name when I reach 100 likes with a share on Facebook.
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Remember... If you like The Mommy Market be sure to pass along to your friends and family. There is always a mom out there that can use some advice at one time or another!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Food Advertising. Is it really healthy?
I was listening to the news the other day and they were reporting on a Class Action suit against the makers of Nutella. The suit was brought by two mothers in California that were claiming Nutella was false advertising the product. Their goal was to get the makers of Nutella to admit that their ad claims healthy, but it is really no more healthy than a candy bar.
In just two tablespoons of Nutella there are 200 calories, 21 grams of sugar and 11 grams of fat. This does not sound healthy to me. I heard one critic of the law suit say that this was frivolous and that one should be checking the ingredients before they buy a product.
I, myself, agree whole hearted with this lawsuit. There have been many studies that show advertisers gear commercials for sugary cereals and snacks towards kids. They put them on at and on the appropriate channels that kids watch and advertise with messages that make a kid say MMMMM! I know just by looking at the shelf that a granola or whole grain cereal with a clearly plain looking non exciting box is more than likely healthier than the colorful one that scream "Made with Whole Grains" on the front of the box. Just because something is made with whole grains does not mean that it is not jacked up with sugar. I think most moms and dads have figured out the cereals. But, other products seem not so easy to figure out when you are in a time crunch. I see the product and it says healthy on the front. Right where the advertisers know I, with all the kids and rushing frantically, will see it. They know I will grab it and go. I know I rely on commercials myself. Sometimes when I hear something is healthy I go ahead and buy it. I know I do not have the time to sit in the grocery store, with at least 1 infant and sometimes my 2 other children, and read every single label to determine healthiness.
Now, I am not the queen of health and I do let me kids have Yodels or Ding Dongs but in moderation. My kids will have a soda but in moderation. So, when I think I am giving them something healthy and it is really jacked with sugar and empty calories is it really fair? I am thinking that with my moderation theory I know what sugar my kids are taking in and here they are getting way more than I even know by eating thing I think are healthy because of advertisements.
Here's the funny thing about Nutella in my house. I love it and my kids hate it! I was making two half sandwiches a day as a snack. Whole grain bread, 1 tablespoon peanut butter, and Nutella. I was thinking I was eating healthy and trying to drop a few pounds at the same time. Really, I was killing my suggested calorie intake with Nutella. It didn't matter if I ate veggies the rest of the day I was already getting most of my calories with the Nutella.
Unless everyone goes around suing all these companies for all of these products this advertising issue will not end. Since suing all these companies is not feasible, the advertising will continue.
My suggestion, and what I will be doing from now on, is when you are making your shopping list and decide to buy something new research the product. I don't have time to do it in the grocery store but I do have some free time that I can look up a product or two by doing a Google search. I am not always buying everything new at the grocery store so looking up a couple of products won't be so time consuming. I won't have a child in the store saying "I want this" and "I want that"! This is the only way to ensure you are buying healthy. Be proactive on your own part.
Just a Tip: Remember, the way the grocery store set up the shelves are to get you to focus on the middle or eye level shelves. These are where most of your sugary items are being sold from. Look up and down you tend to find more nutritious items on top and bottom shelving.
In just two tablespoons of Nutella there are 200 calories, 21 grams of sugar and 11 grams of fat. This does not sound healthy to me. I heard one critic of the law suit say that this was frivolous and that one should be checking the ingredients before they buy a product.
I, myself, agree whole hearted with this lawsuit. There have been many studies that show advertisers gear commercials for sugary cereals and snacks towards kids. They put them on at and on the appropriate channels that kids watch and advertise with messages that make a kid say MMMMM! I know just by looking at the shelf that a granola or whole grain cereal with a clearly plain looking non exciting box is more than likely healthier than the colorful one that scream "Made with Whole Grains" on the front of the box. Just because something is made with whole grains does not mean that it is not jacked up with sugar. I think most moms and dads have figured out the cereals. But, other products seem not so easy to figure out when you are in a time crunch. I see the product and it says healthy on the front. Right where the advertisers know I, with all the kids and rushing frantically, will see it. They know I will grab it and go. I know I rely on commercials myself. Sometimes when I hear something is healthy I go ahead and buy it. I know I do not have the time to sit in the grocery store, with at least 1 infant and sometimes my 2 other children, and read every single label to determine healthiness.
Now, I am not the queen of health and I do let me kids have Yodels or Ding Dongs but in moderation. My kids will have a soda but in moderation. So, when I think I am giving them something healthy and it is really jacked with sugar and empty calories is it really fair? I am thinking that with my moderation theory I know what sugar my kids are taking in and here they are getting way more than I even know by eating thing I think are healthy because of advertisements.
Here's the funny thing about Nutella in my house. I love it and my kids hate it! I was making two half sandwiches a day as a snack. Whole grain bread, 1 tablespoon peanut butter, and Nutella. I was thinking I was eating healthy and trying to drop a few pounds at the same time. Really, I was killing my suggested calorie intake with Nutella. It didn't matter if I ate veggies the rest of the day I was already getting most of my calories with the Nutella.
Unless everyone goes around suing all these companies for all of these products this advertising issue will not end. Since suing all these companies is not feasible, the advertising will continue.
My suggestion, and what I will be doing from now on, is when you are making your shopping list and decide to buy something new research the product. I don't have time to do it in the grocery store but I do have some free time that I can look up a product or two by doing a Google search. I am not always buying everything new at the grocery store so looking up a couple of products won't be so time consuming. I won't have a child in the store saying "I want this" and "I want that"! This is the only way to ensure you are buying healthy. Be proactive on your own part.
Just a Tip: Remember, the way the grocery store set up the shelves are to get you to focus on the middle or eye level shelves. These are where most of your sugary items are being sold from. Look up and down you tend to find more nutritious items on top and bottom shelving.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Daughter's Leaving the nest, How My Mom Coped!
My daughter is 10, she is not yet leaving the nest. But, someday she will. I decided to write about this subject now while it is still fresh in my memory of how it was to leave my nest.
I am one of three kids in my family. I am the oldest daughter with an older brother and a younger sister. We are all about 5 years apart. To tell you about how I ended up leaving the nest I will have to tell you how my family dynamics were growing up.
I lived in a very rural town in Western Pennsylvania. It was a quaint little town and everybody knew everybody. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked shift work at the power plant. We really hardly got to see my dad. My mom was the best mom. I was always happy to have her around and wanted her to be involved in all the activities that I was involved in. She was awesome. Anything and everything that we did she was there. Whether it was to just be in the background to support us or to be actively involved because we had volunteered her for something without her even knowing!
My mom had gotten very sick at one point in my teenage years with gallbladder issues and went to have routine surgery. She wound up almost losing her life. Now, we had always been really close. My dad always said that we had snaps on our hips because we were so close. Our closeness wasn't spoken about to each other. It was the way our relationship was. That doesn't mean that I never said or did anything that was hurtful or disobedient. I was however a teenager. Sorry Mom! During the medical crisis that my mom dealing with, I was there for her. There I was at 16 sleeping on the floor next to the couch. Helping her up and down. Getting her food when she needed it. Changing drainage tubes when needed. This is what you do for someone that you love and I love my mom.
Fast forward about 2 years and my parents marriage had fallen apart. It was messy and sad. At 18, I realized that even though I was still feeling like a child, I was seeing the ins and outs of divorce like an adult. My mom decided to move out of state and my sister and I went with her. I could not leave my mother. She needed me now more than ever. Our adventures started out fun. A new life in a new place. I had to become an adult really fast. If we wanted a home of our own and a not just a place to crash we needed to work hard and fast. We did and we got a place. Both of our paychecks went to rent and bills. It was a struggle but that was what we had to do. After a while, I started to resent my mom a little bit. My paycheck was going towards rent and bills and gas in my car. In my head, I was being an adult way more than what my friends that I left behind probably were. They were going to college, parties, and bars. I was working and being responsible. I started making friends and going out on the weekends but was still given a curfew. I found this unfair and thought that if I was expected to be an adult at 19 I should be able to make my own decisions and not have a curfew. After a while I made the decision to move out. I knew this was going to upset my mom. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her. I was worried for her about how she was going to make it but I just wanted to be able to make my own decisions for my own life. I had a friend that lived 4 hours away and I was going to crash there until I found my place. I had transferred my job and set everything up myself. My mom was hardly speaking to me when I had left. That was not how I wanted it to be at all. I was feeling sad and guilty because I was leaving her. It was like I was her companion and I was afraid to leave her because I knew she was going to be sad, lonely, and was afraid for her financially.
Everything worked out in the end and we speak every weekday on her lunch break. We have talked about that time when I was leaving. She agreed that I was like a companion. She felt like she was losing control because she didn't have control of the situation. We both learned from that situation and, of course, my sister had it so much easier! We both made some mistakes I could have done things differently and she could have too. We don't get to hit rewind and play out that situation again. I realize what my mom must have been feeling and had I only sat down and talked to her and not kept my move so secretive. If I had just told her this is what I wanted to do and why. If I told her I was not asking permission but would love it if she could be involved and help me with this new adventure I was journeying out on. Maybe we would have avoided all that drama!
I know It is hard to let go. I know one day I will come back to this post to remind myself of what my daughter might be feeling and how I could do things differently.
This ones for my mama, love you!
I am one of three kids in my family. I am the oldest daughter with an older brother and a younger sister. We are all about 5 years apart. To tell you about how I ended up leaving the nest I will have to tell you how my family dynamics were growing up.
I lived in a very rural town in Western Pennsylvania. It was a quaint little town and everybody knew everybody. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked shift work at the power plant. We really hardly got to see my dad. My mom was the best mom. I was always happy to have her around and wanted her to be involved in all the activities that I was involved in. She was awesome. Anything and everything that we did she was there. Whether it was to just be in the background to support us or to be actively involved because we had volunteered her for something without her even knowing!
My mom had gotten very sick at one point in my teenage years with gallbladder issues and went to have routine surgery. She wound up almost losing her life. Now, we had always been really close. My dad always said that we had snaps on our hips because we were so close. Our closeness wasn't spoken about to each other. It was the way our relationship was. That doesn't mean that I never said or did anything that was hurtful or disobedient. I was however a teenager. Sorry Mom! During the medical crisis that my mom dealing with, I was there for her. There I was at 16 sleeping on the floor next to the couch. Helping her up and down. Getting her food when she needed it. Changing drainage tubes when needed. This is what you do for someone that you love and I love my mom.
Fast forward about 2 years and my parents marriage had fallen apart. It was messy and sad. At 18, I realized that even though I was still feeling like a child, I was seeing the ins and outs of divorce like an adult. My mom decided to move out of state and my sister and I went with her. I could not leave my mother. She needed me now more than ever. Our adventures started out fun. A new life in a new place. I had to become an adult really fast. If we wanted a home of our own and a not just a place to crash we needed to work hard and fast. We did and we got a place. Both of our paychecks went to rent and bills. It was a struggle but that was what we had to do. After a while, I started to resent my mom a little bit. My paycheck was going towards rent and bills and gas in my car. In my head, I was being an adult way more than what my friends that I left behind probably were. They were going to college, parties, and bars. I was working and being responsible. I started making friends and going out on the weekends but was still given a curfew. I found this unfair and thought that if I was expected to be an adult at 19 I should be able to make my own decisions and not have a curfew. After a while I made the decision to move out. I knew this was going to upset my mom. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her. I was worried for her about how she was going to make it but I just wanted to be able to make my own decisions for my own life. I had a friend that lived 4 hours away and I was going to crash there until I found my place. I had transferred my job and set everything up myself. My mom was hardly speaking to me when I had left. That was not how I wanted it to be at all. I was feeling sad and guilty because I was leaving her. It was like I was her companion and I was afraid to leave her because I knew she was going to be sad, lonely, and was afraid for her financially.
Everything worked out in the end and we speak every weekday on her lunch break. We have talked about that time when I was leaving. She agreed that I was like a companion. She felt like she was losing control because she didn't have control of the situation. We both learned from that situation and, of course, my sister had it so much easier! We both made some mistakes I could have done things differently and she could have too. We don't get to hit rewind and play out that situation again. I realize what my mom must have been feeling and had I only sat down and talked to her and not kept my move so secretive. If I had just told her this is what I wanted to do and why. If I told her I was not asking permission but would love it if she could be involved and help me with this new adventure I was journeying out on. Maybe we would have avoided all that drama!
I know It is hard to let go. I know one day I will come back to this post to remind myself of what my daughter might be feeling and how I could do things differently.
This ones for my mama, love you!
Monday, April 30, 2012
The Birth Plan!
Many of my friends and family are becoming first time moms soon. I thought this would be a great time to talk about birth plans.
What is a birth plan? Well, it is a written or thought out agenda for how your birthing experience is going to play out at the hospital. Most include what kind of pain management if any, who you want in the room, what kind of tools you will want to use (ex. birthing ball, warm tub, shower), who you want to catch the baby, if you want your other half to cut the cord, and if you want to nurse right away just to name a few! Some think that having a birthing plan is just an extensive written paper with everything listed for your labor and delivery, but it is not. A birthing plan can be written out in your head where no one even knows about it. That was what i took to the hospital with my first!
Let me tell you how my mental birth plan went! My agenda went out the window before I even reached the car to get to the hospital! No joke, nothing went as I had planned and all I could think about in all those hours in the hospital is how this birth was not going the way I had planned at all! My water broke at home. I was expelling clots that were the size of grapefruits (my husband took them to the hospital to show the doctor). When we called the doctor to see what we should do, my husband and mother-in-law were both talking at the same time with panic in their voices. The nurse requested to talk to me and they were still going in the background! "Tell them this and do they know that!" It was scary and crazy and it was already out of control.
The birthing process is unreliable and very unpredictable. You cannot plan this process. I realized, by the time that I got to my third delivery, that the more I let go of being in control the more I actually enjoyed the birthing process. I was more in control when I was not trying to be in control. I was able to decide what was going to happen in the moment instead of already having a plan and being disappointed if something wasn't going right. I decided when the time came if I wanted an epidural. I decided if I wanted a catheter or not. I was able to be relaxed, which helps your body to be able to dilate easier and faster. I was able to talk to my nurse as I went through labor. When I would ask her a question I was able to be relaxed, understand, and make a rational decision in regards to what was going to take place. I was more focused and alert which made me be able to read my own body.
In my opinion the more control you try to take or expect in labor, the more out of control the birthing process will be. Let nature take it's course and decide when the time comes to make those decisions. I can almost guarantee you will have a better experience!
_________________________________________________
Packing for the Hospital for Labor and Delivery, 10 things A laboring mom will need
I learned to pack 2 bags. One for labor and delivery and one for the rest of my hospital stay. I would have my husband bring the second one to the hospital after I was transferred to my maternity stay room.
1. Magazines, You may have some time on your hands before active labor and after your get meds!
2. Phone Charger, You don't want to end up with a dead battery when you want it most
3. Camera and Batteries, To take pictures to share
4. Food, They now will let a laboring mom eat food to keep up the energy. Bring light snacks for you to eat.
5. Robe, If you have to walk to halls you will want something to cover your cheeks besides a johnny!
6. Chapstick, Your lips will get dry.
7. Deodorant, I put it on a lot because I was sweating a lot!
8. Hard Candy, In case you get a dry mouth.
9. Something to focus on, I actually used the little light on the TV when I was having contractions!
10. Slippers or Slipper Socks, For when you have to get to and from bed!
Happy Laboring Ladies!
What is a birth plan? Well, it is a written or thought out agenda for how your birthing experience is going to play out at the hospital. Most include what kind of pain management if any, who you want in the room, what kind of tools you will want to use (ex. birthing ball, warm tub, shower), who you want to catch the baby, if you want your other half to cut the cord, and if you want to nurse right away just to name a few! Some think that having a birthing plan is just an extensive written paper with everything listed for your labor and delivery, but it is not. A birthing plan can be written out in your head where no one even knows about it. That was what i took to the hospital with my first!
Let me tell you how my mental birth plan went! My agenda went out the window before I even reached the car to get to the hospital! No joke, nothing went as I had planned and all I could think about in all those hours in the hospital is how this birth was not going the way I had planned at all! My water broke at home. I was expelling clots that were the size of grapefruits (my husband took them to the hospital to show the doctor). When we called the doctor to see what we should do, my husband and mother-in-law were both talking at the same time with panic in their voices. The nurse requested to talk to me and they were still going in the background! "Tell them this and do they know that!" It was scary and crazy and it was already out of control.
The birthing process is unreliable and very unpredictable. You cannot plan this process. I realized, by the time that I got to my third delivery, that the more I let go of being in control the more I actually enjoyed the birthing process. I was more in control when I was not trying to be in control. I was able to decide what was going to happen in the moment instead of already having a plan and being disappointed if something wasn't going right. I decided when the time came if I wanted an epidural. I decided if I wanted a catheter or not. I was able to be relaxed, which helps your body to be able to dilate easier and faster. I was able to talk to my nurse as I went through labor. When I would ask her a question I was able to be relaxed, understand, and make a rational decision in regards to what was going to take place. I was more focused and alert which made me be able to read my own body.
In my opinion the more control you try to take or expect in labor, the more out of control the birthing process will be. Let nature take it's course and decide when the time comes to make those decisions. I can almost guarantee you will have a better experience!
_________________________________________________
Packing for the Hospital for Labor and Delivery, 10 things A laboring mom will need
I learned to pack 2 bags. One for labor and delivery and one for the rest of my hospital stay. I would have my husband bring the second one to the hospital after I was transferred to my maternity stay room.
1. Magazines, You may have some time on your hands before active labor and after your get meds!
2. Phone Charger, You don't want to end up with a dead battery when you want it most
3. Camera and Batteries, To take pictures to share
4. Food, They now will let a laboring mom eat food to keep up the energy. Bring light snacks for you to eat.
5. Robe, If you have to walk to halls you will want something to cover your cheeks besides a johnny!
6. Chapstick, Your lips will get dry.
7. Deodorant, I put it on a lot because I was sweating a lot!
8. Hard Candy, In case you get a dry mouth.
9. Something to focus on, I actually used the little light on the TV when I was having contractions!
10. Slippers or Slipper Socks, For when you have to get to and from bed!
Happy Laboring Ladies!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Oragnized Meal Planning!
Our Favorite Meal Clip Board!
This was something I found on Pinterest and it was done with a restaurant menu. Well, since I know I don't have many menus laying around my house I improvised!
When I starting using this I thought it was only going to be used to help me to know what my family would want for dinners that week. What I did not realize is how much it helped me plan my shopping trip and save money at the same time.
When I would go to the grocery store before, I would wander aimlessly up and down each isle. With a scattered brain trying to think of what we would have for 7 dinners, lunches for my school aged kids, what the baby was going to need, what kind of cereal my husband would want, and all of this while my stomach is growling! Not a great combination. So, I would just randomly grab things out of the isle. I guess this is how the grocery stores make their money!
Once I made and started using this clip board, It helped me right out of the gate. My kids were excited to be picking out what we would have for the week and it was always going to be something my family liked. So, on Wednesday when the circulars came in the mail, I would take a peak and see what was going to be on sale, I would go through the envelope marked "Our Favorite Meals" and I would pull out 7 meals. I let my kids clip them onto the clip boards with the clothes pins for when they wanted to eat those meals. Now, I am able to make a grocery list almost without even looking in the circulars page by page. I know exactly what I will need for my Friday shopping day!
These is how I made my clip board. It is not fancy at all but it works!
Materials...
1 clipboard
7 clothes pins
1 envelope
2- 8.5"X11" poster board
glue
Sharpie
Glue 7 Clothes pins onto 1 sheet of poster board. glue the fold of the envelope to the bottom backside of the poster board. Write with the Sharpie each day of the week over the clothes pins and write on the envelope "Our Favorite Meals". Now, Cut the other piece of poster board in half vertically. Cut again into strips. Write on these pieces what your families favorite meals are and place them in the envelope. Once everything is dry clip it to your clip board and hang on a wall in your kitchen!
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